So yesterday the toilet in our hotel room overflowed and flooded the bathroom.  I called the front desk and they sent someone up to hand me a plunger and a towel.  That’s a towel.  I thought, are they kidding me with this single towel?  I don’t mind plunging my own toilet, but I have a good half-inch or so of toilet water on my bathroom floor, and I don’t think a towel will do the job.  But being the resourceful and patient woman that I am, I unclogged the toilet, lowered the moisture level in the bathroom from moderate to damp, and waited for housekeeping to do its job three hours later.

Today Sugar Daddy and Mister Bubby are down in Eugene for a Ducks game.  They’ve been looking forward to this for quite some time, so I’d hardly begrudge them the trip, but I was not enthusiastic about entertaining three young children in a hotel room for an entire Saturday.  I could not possibly do that.  It’s impossible, right?  Of course it is.  But where could I take them?  Two words about my last trip with them to the zoo:  Never again.  We still have a Children’s Museum membership, but the last three times I’ve gone there, Elvis has wanted to spend the majority of his time at the vending machines in the front lobby.  I don’t have that much coin.  No one does.  And OMSI is off-limits until that creepy Body Works exhibit leaves town.  ::shudder::  Then SD suggested that I take the kids to Safari Sam’s.  I was skeptical at first because I seemed to recall that Safari Sam’s was a) expensive and b) a whole lot of way too many different venues for children to amuse themselves, requiring me to be in three different places at the same time at any given time.  But then SD pointed out that without MB clamoring to do the mini-golf, I could easily get away with paying for only the use of the jungle gym and bouncy toy area, allowing the children to run (and bounce) around like ninnies and possibly me to sit down at some point.  Wow–that was an awesome idea!  SD is brilliant–that’s why they pay him the big bucks.  So I was actually not at all dreading the next morning when I went to bed last night, which is more than I can say for most of my bedtimes for the last week.

Then at 12:05 a.m. I heard Elvis crying.  SD went in to see what was the matter, and it turned out that Elvis had thrown up.  He was mostly asleep at the time, so it only got on the sheets and the floor and a little bit on the wall.  He didn’t have the energy to run around the room flinging vomit hither and yon, as per his usual MO.  So that was a blessing.  We got him cleaned up and he went back to sleep and proceeded to wake up puking every 20-45 minutes for the rest of the night.  By the morning he was all out of puke but was still going through the puking motions.  SD advised me against the Safari Sam’s trip.  I told you, he’s brilliant, so I trusted his judgment and called off the expedition.  Now I actually am stuck in a hotel room with three kids for an entire Saturday, but it’s okay because I only have two and half more days of this until we move into our rental house and the rest of the family can start puking on carpets that we don’t own.

Actually, this part is starting to feel a lot like vacation.

Right now we are all in the “master” end of the “family suite” we are staying in.  Elvis is watching Toy Story.  Princess Zurg is designing outfits for Barbie and asking me which movies I think are as good or not as good as Corpse Bride.  (No movie is better, in case you were wondering.)  The baby just poured Diet Coke on my purse, and I think she will have Oreos for lunch.  Ever hear of the Impossible Dream?  Dear readers, I not only dreamed it.  I am living it.