So now that I’ve weaned the baby, my shrink and I are ready to take the pharmaceutical support to a whole new level. (Or as Eugene Struthers would say, the “HNL.”) So the first thing we thought we’d try is augmenting the Zoloft with a stimulant, such as Aderall, or what I have ended up taking, which is Vyvanse. Vyvanse is a newer drug, and it’s fancy, and it’s expensive, but you know, when it comes to my mental health, money is no object. Or something like that. So far I think it might be helping a little bit, only not so much that I feel like doing useful things, like cleaning the house. (Nope, I checked. Not feeling it.) It’s also decreasing my appetite, which is impressive.
Half the time I was in Texas, I forgot to take it, which is how I managed to eat so many pork ribs while I was there, I think, because now that I am taking it regularly again, I am not wanting to eat. Which is just not like me. Like, I feel my empty stomach and wooziness from not eating, but I don’t want to eat. I don’t. I cannot stress to you enough how UNlike me this is. I always want to eat. Except when I’ve just eaten half a rack of pork ribs. But that’s different.
Today I ate a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats, half a bagel, a cup of yogurt, two Cheetos, and a Zone bar. That’s it. I don’t think this can continue. For one thing, I don’t need to lose weight, so that’s not a benefit. For another thing, if I stop wanting to eat, I will stop being me, and I won’t know who I am and worse, whoever I am, I may not want to know her. Who wants to be friends with a person who eats a Zone bar for dinner at 4 p.m.? Not me.
Maybe it’s not helping as much as I thought (hoped) it was. I don’t really want to be on a Schedule II drug anyway, because it’s such a pain in the neck, and I don’t want the hassle of arguing with the insurance company over whether or not they’re going to pay for it. I had a voucher for thirty free pills, but the pharmacy initially tried to bill my insurance and the insurance company said they wouldn’t cover it because of my age. My age. Apparently I am too old to take a drug that is marketed to children with ADHD. Which seems ridiculous on its face, but logic’s never paid a medical claim, so far as I know, so whatever. Anyway. I’ve lost my will to eat, and the house isn’t getting any cleaner by itself, so maybe it’s back to the drawing board for me and the shrink.
Or maybe I just need to get off my lazy keister and unload the dishwasher. And put in a load of laundry. And get some sleep. Not necessarily in that order.

5 comments
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May 15, 2008 at 3:31 am
Alison Wonderland
Again you sound like me (were we separated at birth?)- except I’m not on any drugs- I just often find that I have no desire to eat. I think I may have been anorexic in another life.
I’m also not that into laundry or cleaning or getting up at all.
May 15, 2008 at 6:32 am
bythelbs
Dude, you can’t not eat. For those of you who’ve never seen her, Madhousewife is thin.
Go tell your shrink you wanna new drug. One that does what it should. One that won’t make you feel too bad. One that won’t make you feel too good. Wait, what’s too good?
May 15, 2008 at 2:14 pm
bythelbs
P.S. That MadTV clips is hil.ar.i.ous.
May 16, 2008 at 8:02 am
madhousewife
This one is even better.
May 16, 2008 at 4:39 pm
bythelbs
I love this Eugene Struthers guy!