My daughter’s school just called. I was afraid at first because I thought she’d done something bad. But no, it was nothing she’d done. She’d just gotten her period.
Excuse me.
AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in———and breathe out.
Okay. It’s okay. I’m all right now. No, I’m not.
THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! SHE’S ONLY TEN! TEN!!! I KNOW YOU CAN GET IT AS EARLY AS EIGHT OR NINE, I DON’T CARE, SHE’S JUST A BABYYYYYYYY!!!!
Honestly, I am ready to cry.
Thank God we have already talked about this, so it’s not like it came as a shock and she went all Carrie on everybody, but damn. Damn. Sorry, but I’m not ready for this. I’m just not ready. The poor thing. She still plays with dolls and believes in the Tooth Fairy. Curse our omnivorous, factory-farm diet laden with beef and dairy products made from cows injected with superhormones! It isn’t right for a ten-year-old to slough off superfluous uterine tissue! What a world, what a world.
Okay. I’m calming down now. All right. This is just a milestone. It’s not a bad thing. She’s just growing up. It’s a good thing. It’s a sign of a healthy reproductive system. Healthy reproductive systems are good IF YOU’RE READY TO REPRODUCE! Aaaaaaa….no, it’s fine. I should make this a positive thing. I should mark the occasion, welcome her to the sisterhood, as it were. Other cultures have some kind of ritual for this sort of occasion, right? Should I set up a red tent in the back yard? No, that’s not good. There must be a better idea out there. Where’s my Inner Feminist when I need her?
Actually, I just found a web site devoted to menarche rituals. I’m going to need a tambourine and some sprouts. Dear God, what have I come to?
Maybe it would be easier if I weren’t on my period.
(Oh, shut up, like you couldn’t already tell.)
10 comments
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July 30, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Susan M
I think I was 11. My mom was 9. She did not have a cool mother, either. She had some horror stories about her period as a kid.
Maybe buy her some flowers? I read somewhere once where a father did that for his daughter and I thought it was kinda sweet.
July 30, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Alison @ hairlinefracture
My mom didn’t know what it was when she got it. She wasn’t particularly young, her mother was just particularly prudish. She thought she was dying.
I was 11 or so. I started at school too–at least one of my teachers had some supplies. I feel your distress–I’m not looking forward to my daughter growing up.
July 30, 2008 at 4:39 pm
bythelbs
Wow, I’m with you on the it’s not fair and totally sucks. My sympathies are with PZ. But it will be OK.
I was 11, but out of grade school at least. And at least PZ is going to school with older girls, so she won’t stand out so much, eh? Maybe not be as self-conscious about it?
How’s she feeling about it?
Oh, and kudos for you for prepping her already. That was incredibly foresightful! Now I’m thinking I need to do the same. My almost 9 year old already seems to have a few signs of her impending doom. JK!
July 30, 2008 at 4:41 pm
cheryl
I got a bra at 10 1/2. And my period at 12. Luckily, it was a Saturday and I was at home when I started.
Susan-
I’m not sure if I’d want my dad buying me flowers for starting my period. That would be kid of…awkward. But if my mom bought them? Less awkward. Flowers are a nice thing, though. Even if you aren’t starting a period, flowers are a nice thing!
My daughter is 7 1/2. We haven’t had the “talk” yet; she just knows some basics. But only about 20%. This has just given me the courage to at least start thinking about it. I don’t want her to learn about her period in Maturation class like I did!
July 30, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Alison Wonderland
Oh I’m so sorry for you. And for her too.
I second the kudos to you for having prepped her, I guess I should get on that. The Princess is only 8 but we eat all the hormone injected food too.
I’m not so sure about the sprouts, I think I’d just take her out to dinner.
July 31, 2008 at 3:57 am
evenshine
I was 11, and got it overnight. My mom, woken from her sleep, turned over and said, “go back to sleep. it’s normal”. THANKS MOM.
At least she has a (semi-not-freaking-out) mom who is all cool and sproutish about it. I’m with Cheryl on this one, no flowers. Too va-jay-jay oriented for my liking. Get her a cute little innocuous pouch for the lady-necessities that she can stick in her backpack. Best of luck in the new stage of y’alls life!
August 1, 2008 at 10:47 am
radmama
Wow. Just Wow. I really hope the family trend of waiting until 14 for the grand bleeding event holds for Ramona… Given the hormonal teetertotter her 12 year old brother is on, I won’t hold out hope for late puberty all ’round
August 2, 2008 at 2:16 pm
flip flop mama
Wow, that is so young…I was 13 I think. All my mom said was “Well now you’re a woman.” Great, thanks Mom. I had to figure it all out on my own.
August 4, 2008 at 9:23 pm
meems
Please don’t worry about the hormones. My 8 (9 years old tomorrow) year old just had her physical and our pediatrician told me she’s starting the first signs of puberty. Whhhaaa? I asked if I had been feeding her too much hormone injected chicken and milk, and her doctor laughed and said that the most current research is dismissing that theory and that early onset of puberty is now normal and all the charts are being changed. It’s being attributed to over-nutrition.
Darn those one a days.
August 6, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Jami
I got to wait until she was an old twelve. Then she was mad because I hadn’t told her it would hurt. (‘It doesn’t always,” is no excuse apparently.) We pulled together a few of her favorite women and all dressed in red and went to Red Lobster where she ate all-you-can-eat crab. (The dinner still didn’t cancel out the information omission.)
I have four girls. It’ll be grand when we all get going at the same time.