Did you ever have a dream you were ashamed to talk about?

I’ve had some pretty wigged-out dreams in my day.  Or rather, my night.  I don’t often dream when I sleep during the day.  Hey, science people–does dreamless sleep mean you’re sleeping deeply?  I have a lot of deep-feeling sleep during the day.  You know, when I sleep during the day.  Not like I habitually sleep during the day, though I wouldn’t have a problem admitting it if I did–because sleeping isn’t shameful; it’s the dreams that weird other folks out.

My husband and I often share our dreams.  Not in the aspirations sense–outside of taking our meals out, we don’t have that many common goals–but in the REM-sense.  He’s shared some dreams with me that I kind of wish he hadn’t.  I’ve also shared some dreams with him that I kind of wish I hadn’t.  Like that dream I had shortly after we got married, where I dreamed that he was pimping me out to a mutual acquaintance of ours.  To make matters worse, it was a mutual acquaintance that I really didn’t care for, but that’s actually beside the point.  In the dream, the mutual acquaintance was all, “Dude, I really appreciate this,” and I was like, “Hey, I’m really not comfortable with this AT ALL,” and my husband was like, “What’s your problem?”

Anyway, I don’t know why I would have dreamed something like this…well, no, on second thought, I have an idea…but don’t worry, I won’t share it with you.  Why not?  Because my husband reads this blog, and if this experience of dream-sharing has taught me anything, it’s that you don’t share sensitive material with the husband.  Because he’s spent the last eleven-plus years teasing me about having sex with this person that I wouldn’t have sex with if he were the last person on earth, that’s why!

Sex dreams don’t necessarily have sexual meaning, of course.  At least that’s what I hope.  I mean, how would it be if you had a dream that you were watching a TV show and the TV show was all about how Steve Sanders from 90210 had been reduced to making pornos?  Wouldn’t that disturb you?  It disturbs me.  I mean, it would disturb me, if I were to have a dream like that, because no offense to Steve Sanders and his kinky-haired glory, but where the hell does that come from?  I always thought that if I had a sex dream involving a 90210 character, Brenda would figure more prominently.  I mean, not that I mean anything by that, but doesn’t it make sense?

Anyway.  I had a dream once that I was married to Liam Neeson, but oddly, there was no sex in that dream.  And by “oddly,” I think you know what I mean.

I’m just not saying.