Waiting in line for the Nightwish concert…

Sugar Daddy: Are we getting too old for this?

Madhousewife: Speak for yourself, man.

So last night my husband and I saw Nightwish at the Crystal Ballroom. Nightwish fired their lead singer, like, Monday, so that was a sad bit of news. The good news is that her replacement, Floor Jansen, was very good. She’s built like an Amazon and she has that long hair that swishes around when she does the head-banging thing. You know what a sucker I am for that crap. Well, maybe you don’t, but I am. Maybe that should be my new goal, to grow my hair long enough so it will swish around when I bang my head at metal concerts. That sounds like I’m planning to have some kind of accident at a metal concert. That is not my intention. I don’t know if I’ll ever have swishy hair, though.

Getting back to my story, it was a good concert. This was our third time seeing Nightwish but first time at the Crystal Ballroom. It was a pretty nice venue, but next time I think we should get there earlier so we can get a seat in the balcony. Everything else is standing room only, which would have been fine except that we were surrounded by really tall people. Seriously, I think the average height of the audience was six feet, men and women. I’m only 5’7″, in case you were wondering. Five-seven doesn’t usually count as “short,” but I certainly felt short last night. Every time we got a clear view of the stage, some giant would move in front of us. One time a wall of giants got in front of us. Seriously, freakishly tall people want to see Nightwish perform. It’s a problem.

The opening act was Kamelot, a band I was not particularly familiar with. I went in with low expectations because, well, “Kamelot”? With a K. Really? But they were pretty good, I thought. SD didn’t think they played a very good show. But they sold a very cool t-shirt, so he bought it. He didn’t buy a Nightwish shirt because they only had one design and he didn’t want us to be twinsies. He’s funny about that.

What else can I tell you? Oh. I’m sorry, I’m super distracted today. You’ll just have to put up with me. I know what you’re all wondering, just sitting on the edge of your seats with bated breath: Did Nightwish deliver, or did Nightwish deliver? Oh, Nightwish delivered, gentle readers. Substitute lead singer notwithstanding. She wasn’t like those non-union refs they were using in the NFL. If there were a metal vocalist union, I’m sure she would be in it. (Who knows if there is or not? These are Scandinavians we’re talking about.) So they put on a great show, as usual. I only have two complaints:

1. No encore. (What the what? )

2. “7 Days to the Wolves”–DENIED.

watch?v=Ro0R_MxwwRs

Naturally, you can imagine how let down I felt. So I guess, yes, technically, Nightwish delivered. I can’t deny their delivery, which was unambiguous. It was an awesome show. It just wasn’t the FULL awesome that it could have been if they had played our favorite song.

I mean, play it. I defy you to name something more awesome than an epic metal song about the threat of wolves devouring us. Go ahead. I dare you!

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Aaaaaaaaaaaand here it is, Wednesday. I went to the dentist today. The teeth are fine. They complimented me on my superior dental hygiene again. Granted, people with braces inevitably get graded on a curve, but still. I don’t have many victories anymore. I like to savor my little self-esteem boosts. Sue me. No, don’t sue me really–I don’t have time to deal with your frivolous lawsuits. I am too busy brushing!

Tonight we have Back to School Night at the high school. I’m not sure I want to go back to school at the high school. It’s really big and crowded. And now all the parents will be there–so twice as crowded, in theory. (But probably not in reality.) The good news is that they might have enough parking. Yeah, that’s the best I can do. I’m not looking forward to it. It promises to be Snoozeville.

The really good news is that Princess Zurg is doing very well at high school now, after her rocky–nay, horrific–start. We had her IEP meeting a couple weeks ago, and her case manager remarked on her miraculous turnaround. We have tweaked her schedule since then. Originally we enrolled her in LDS seminary for one period–I know that sounds crazy, like “why would you do that, Madhousewife?” “I don’t know, it just seemed like a good idea at the time”–well, at the time it did seem like that. At least not a completely horrible idea. PZ may have a complicated relationship with her religion, but she very rarely misses youth activities at the church because she likes being able to socialize. And since most LDS students take seminary (we have so many Mormons here, they do it on a release-time schedule during the school day, in place of study hall), we thought she might want to be there with her peers and maybe meet some new kids in a possibly-more-relaxed-than-Sunday-School environment. Everybody said the teacher was really great and blah blah, but whatever. It didn’t work out for PZ. Not that she really gave it the old college try, but I only wanted her in there if she was going to enjoy it, and clearly she was not of a mind to enjoy it, so now she is taking PE instead. Ha! Okay, that’s only funny if you know how much PZ hates PE. Well, let me tell you: she hates it. But not more than she hates seminary.

Also, if you have to take PE, you may as well take it the semester when you’ll be coming into it a month late.

Apparently, they have two different PE classes–one that focuses more on team-sport activities, and this one she’s taking, which is called “Fitness Movement,” whatever that means. She has to take two semesters of PE, which, I don’t know, I’m happy for her, but man oh man, it does trigger my “In MY day…” reflex. Because in MY day we had to have SIX semesters of PE, and there was only one kind of PE class and it was called “Four-and-a-Half Months of Volleyball with a Smattering of Softball and Tennis Mixed In If Your Teacher Is Feeling Ambitious.” Six semesters! I’m still bitter about it, I admit it. I can’t get over. I don’t think I ever will. But I’m glad that my kids don’t have to suffer the same thing. Budget cuts–they’re good for something after all!

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Well, my housekeepers are here so I’m going to stop typing and leave you with an Elvis story. We’ve been working on Elvis’s reading comprehension skills. This is the conversation SD had with him after book time the other night.

SD: Elvis, does Amelia Bedelia make good decisions?

Elvis (laughs). No!

SD: What does she do?

Elvis: She makes cookies.

Gentle readers, adieu.