Madhousewife: Did you know that sperm from men with Ph.D.s costs more than regular sperm?
Princess Zurg: What? Why?
Mad: I don’t know, I guess people assume their kids will be smarter or something. But it’s a rip-off. Your dad has a Ph.D. and look at you kids.
Mad: Just kidding. I mean, you’re smart enough, but you’re not, like, geniuses or anything. Well, except for you.
PZ: Yeah, I’m kind of a genius.
Mad: But that was just luck.
PZ: Albert Einstein said everybody’s a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, the fish will spend its whole life believing it’s stupid.
Mad: How profound.
Mad: I don’t have a Ph.D., and I’m pretty smart. I mean, I’m not a genius or anything. But I won’t judge myself by my ability to climb a tree. Or my ability to swim, for that matter. I’m a little better at swimming than climbing a tree. Like, if I had to swim to save my life, I would probably make it, but if I had to climb a tree to save my life, I’d probably die.
PZ: I know what you mean.
Mad: I guess it would depend on the tree.
PZ: Yeah. Maybe if it were a really short tree. Like, if it were a tree stump.
Mad: Yeah, I could climb a tree stump.
PZ: All you’d have to do is step up and say, “Ta da! I climbed a tree!”
Mad: Even a fish could do that. If it flopped high enough.
PZ: Or if the tree stump were underwater. But that wouldn’t really be climbing. But at least he’d get to the top of the tree.
Mad: That’s what counts.