So it appears I will not have a summer off from blogging, since here I am. Unfortunately, there’s still nothing to write about, really.

I did have a car accident a couple weeks ago. Do not be alarmed! I was not hurt. Not seriously, anyway. It’s the car you should feel sorry for because it is kaput. I guess the car doesn’t need your sympathy, unless you believe that motor vehicles have feelings. I guess I don’t. I hope they don’t because that car was put through quite an ordeal. I was on my way to book group at janeannechovy’s house. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and then the car in front of me came to an abrupt stop. Fortunately, since I was driving Sugar Daddy’s car, I also came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, the pick-up truck behind me was not able to make an abrupt stop and plowed into my backside. The car’s backside, that is. My own backside was unscathed. But I’m probably going to identify with the car for the rest of the story.

As I was saying, the pick-up truck plowed into my backside, primarily on the right, which pushed me into the unfortunate car in front of me and then into the left lane, where one lucky driver was able to swerve to avoid me, but one unlucky cab driver was not able to swerve and was thus plowed into by me before I finally stopped (or was stopped, by the collective laws of physics). So if you heard about a four-car accident on Sunset Highway a couple weeks ago, yes, that was me (and three others). I confess that I was pretty shaken up at the time. Actually, what I was thinking as I was scraping along the concrete median was, “SD’s car! His beautiful car!” But as SD later pointed out to me, it was good that I was driving his car, since it has better insurance than my minivan and, unlike my minivan, is actually worth something. He has already replaced it with an identical make and model—same year, different color. And I walked away with a mild case of whiplash and a few minor burns from the side airbag. Not too shabby, considering what the poor car looks like. Okay, I still feel a little bad about the car. I can’t help myself.

As I told SD at the time—or a couple hours after the time, not having my cell phone on my person (I thought I’d left it at home, but it turned out that it actually fell out of my purse and went under the passenger seat, but whatever, I didn’t have it when I wanted/needed it) and being unable to call him while I was in my freaking-out state (fortunate for him)—I felt just like I did after we had the house fire in 2007. I kept wondering how I could possibly have prevented this terrible affair, even though it wasn’t my fault. I’m used to things being my fault; I don’t quite know how to deal with misfortunate that is not at least partially the result of my own ineptness and/or poor choices. I get this feeling like I’m forgetting something important but I can’t think of what it is…oh, yes, self-flagellation, that’s what I’m missing. But how do you flagellate yourself over something that someone else did? It’s a challenge. Hence, my discomfort. I will probably feel better now that the car is replaced. I will feel completely better after the insurance check arrives and I have had my last word with each of the insurance companies involved. Four-car collisions are complicated!

Actually, I don’t think I’ll feel completely better until summer vacation is over and all the kids are back in school. But who’s counting the days? Not me. (Not yet.)

There are many different camps to be survived this summer. I have already survived girls camp with Princess Zurg. God willing, this may have been my last girls camp with Princess Zurg. It will certainly be my last year of Cub Scout camp, EVER, when I accompany Elvis to his Cub camp next month. I have not ordered the cake yet, but I will. Oh, yes, I will.

I believe I promised PZ that I would help her finish sewing a skirt this weekend. We started working on this skirt over a month ago, but I just haven’t had a lot of time for things like sewing or poking myself in the eye with a sharp stick; hence, the slowness of our progress. I have enrolled PZ in a sewing class next month. I’m hoping that gives her enough instruction to enable her to become largely self-sufficient on the sewing machine we bought her three years ago. If not, well, I’ll just have to find her another class, because I can’t take much more of the guilt over not knowing how to teach someone how to sew.

Why don’t any of my children want to learn how to diagram sentences?

Something else that will be happening this summer that I am excited about: I will be going to my annual eye exam and getting myself fitted with some progressive lenses so that I can actually see up close and far away with the same pair of glasses. Yippee for me (and middle age).

Yeah, I’ve about exhausted my store of stuff to talk about. I’ll check in with you kids later, when I have something else to say. Or when my fingers start itching to mingle with polite internet society. That doesn’t sound very polite, actually. My fingers don’t itch to do anything with polite society. I was thinking “fingers” because of “typing,” which is how you mingle with internet anything, polite or otherwise, but it didn’t come out the way I wanted it to. No matter. I’m all done talking anyway. Gentle readers, adieu.

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