Last night Sugar Daddy came home and told me that he thinks I have Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS).  This is because for as long as he’s known me I have been driving him crazy with my propensity to shake or bounce one leg or another (on rare occasions, both) whilst in the sitting position.  I usually don’t notice I’m doing it until he puts his hand on my knee and says, “Cut it out, man.”  Or, “You’re shaking the whole pew.”  Or, “You’re shaking the table and all the food’s going to fall off.”  Or,  “Do you mind?  I’m trying to drive.”

I always assumed it was a nervous thing, but now it turns out I have an actual medical condition.  He has insisted that I visit this website, “so you can get help.”  It has links to support groups, which I have not yet checked out.  I’m just trying to envision what a support group meeting for people with Restless Leg Syndrome would be like.  A whole bunch of us sitting around bouncing our legs and shaking the whole room until someone on the floor below us complains?

I thought he was kidding me at first with this, but he seems genuinely concerned.  I admit it might explain my poor sleep habits.  It definitely explains the restless legs.  I’m actually bouncing my left leg now.  I know this is giving you all a great picture of me.  Here’s Madhousewife, with her gray hair that she hasn’t combed today, plantar warts on her feet, sleep-deprived bags under her eyes, psycho brain chemistry, and restless legs.  All I have to do now is tell you I’ve got Crohn’s disease, and the profile will be complete.  No, I do not have Crohn’s disease.  Shut up.  And stop googling.

Advertisements