My son got up at 2 a.m. and never went back to sleep.  He does this every night, but usually he has the courtesy to wait until 3 or 4.

It takes my 7-year-old 35 minutes to put on her underwear on days when the bus comes early.

I ate one of Red Robin’s Mile-High Mud Pies last night.  I thought “mile-high” was an expression.  Unfortunately (for my big, wide, no-longer-pregnant butt), it is not.