So last night I was driving to my tap class in my husband’s car, which does not have a CD player (he has an iPod, la di da), so I was trying to find something decent on the radio and was not successful.  I did discover a variety of crap, though, including Hanson’s “MMMMMBop.”  Do you know that until last night I had never actually heard that song?  I had heard of the song, had seen photos of the three brothers with their matching Marcia Brady hairdos, had heard others singing the song and making fun of it, but never the actual song itself.  I must say, it was incredible.  Like the Chipmunks might sound after too much white bread and soda pop.  Yet I could not stop listening.  I was verily infected with the wonders of this one hit.  Fortunately, the effects subsided once the song was over, and no rash accompanied the infection, so I was able to go about my evening as planned.

I noticed, though, whilst listening to “MMMMMBop”–or is it “MMMBop”?  “MMMMMMMMBop”?  who knows?–that the only words I could understand were “MMMMMBop”–and that was probably only because I knew the song was called “MMMMMBop.”  I know I’m getting old and the hearing is the first thing to go, but it seemed like every song I heard last night was thoroughly unintelligible.  I heard the new Maroon 5 song, which–as near as I could tell–is something like “Soda Says Goodbye,” or maybe “Bonus Sales, Good Buys.”  I heard that “Blinded by the Light” song by Mannfred Mann’s Earth Band and was amazed by how much it still sounds like he’s singing, “Wrapped up like a douchebag in a roner in the night.”  You might be wondering what the heck a “roner” is.  Well, how should I know?  It’s not my song.  Sugar Daddy and I looked up the lyrics to that song once, because we figured it probably had to be something that was NOT about douchebags, but I couldn’t remember what we’d learned, and straining my ears in the car last night, nothing was coming to me.  Possibly he was saying, “Rolled up like a doucher in bologna in the night,” but that didn’t seem to make much sense either.

So I looked up the lyrics on the internet just now, and the real words are “Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.”  I still don’t know what that means, but at least douche has been taken out of the conversation.

We used to make fun of my mother for misunderstanding the lyrics to popular songs.  Every time the Thompson Twins sang “Lay Your Hands on Me,” all she heard was “BANG! YOUR! HEAD!  Bang your heeeeaaad ooooon meeee”–which she may not have done if she hadn’t known there was a song out there called “Bang Your Head,” so one might understand such confusion.  But she also used to swear that the opening lines to They Might Be Giants’ “Don’t Let’s Start” were “Do-do-donuts start, I’ve got an aardvaark,” which is hilarious not only because it comes out of nowhere but because it doesn’t sound anything remotely like that.  She was insane.

Of course, my husband can tell you that to this day, I still walk around the house singing “Do-do-donuts start, I’ve got an aardvaark”–because after all this time I just can’t sing the real words.  My kids are perplexed and disgusted by this behavior, and they don’t even know why.

So I’ve said all I have to say on this subject, but my inner English teacher thinks I need a concluding paragraph, so I’m opening up the comments section for you all to tell me your misheard lyrics.  Feel free to blame it on your mother, like I have.