Last week in review:

Monday–While engaging in horseplay with Princess Zurg, Mister Bubby falls head first into the coffee table corner, resulting in an open wound near his eyeball.  Sugar Daddy takes him to the urgent care, where he receives two stitches, of which he is very proud.

Tuesday–Eh, nothing.

Wednesday–SD starts building the play structure in the back yard.  That evening we go with friends to see Spamalot! at the Keller Auditorium.  Try to find a decent place to eat near the Keller, end up eating at the Quizno’s.  Friends get those new sammies.  SD and I eat cookies.  Cookies are good.  Spamalot! is good.  Worth the money we paid for the tickets?  Doubtful.  But, you know, it’s a night out and I like cookies.

Thursday–SD finishes (almost, close enough for horseshoes) play structure in the back yard.  SD takes MB and Elvis to the Timbers game at PGE Park.  SD is hoarse afterward from all the screaming he did at the unsportsmanlike player from the visiting team.  And he’s always made fun of soccer fans.  Whatever.  At least he doesn’t take out his rage issues on the family.  All boys have a good time.

Friday–MB gets his sutures taken out.  That part of his face still doesn’t look pretty, but at least it isn’t gaping open.  SD takes PZ and Girlfriend to the church Daddy-Daughter Campout, at some campsite near Astoria.  A fun time had by daughters and daddy until it becomes clear that Girlfriend has no intention of sleeping in a tent.  Probably because she hasn’t nursed in several hours, and where is Mom anyway?  Seriously, where is she?

Meanwhile, back at the homestead, the boys and I are having a movie and popcorn night.  Elvis is mostly having a popcorn night.  MB and I are watching 101 Dalmations, the live-action version starring Glenn Close.  Not my selection.  Ahem.  After the movie, I put Elvis to bed.  MB says he wants to stay up until midnight.  I say, sure, it’s no skin off my nose.  So we watch It’s Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown!, followed by three vintage episodes of The Muppet Show (guest stars:  Elton John, Julie Andrews and Gene Kelly).  MB wants to have a “sleepover.”  So we camp out together on the family room floor, tell each other secrets, giggle, and do each other’s hair.  Actually, I pass out on the floor, MB sleeps on the couch, and at 2 a.m. my back is killing me.  The mammary glands aren’t feeling so hot either.  (No commentary, please.)

Saturday–SD and the girls arrive circa 1:30 p.m.  SD promptly goes upstairs to take a five-hour nap.  Girlfriend, oddly enough, does not feel like sleeping.  She is filthy and smells like campfire.  Mmmmm.  She is happy to be reunited with Mom.  Mom’s mammaries are happy too.  (Again, no commentary necessary.)

Sunday–SD takes another nap, but not for five hours.  He also makes dinner and does the dishes, so get off his back already.  Geez.  After doing some light housekeeping and several loads of laundry, I spend an inordinate amount of time reading blogs.  It’s the weekend, so nobody’s really blogging, so I’m reading archives.  Then I make cookies.  I like cookies.

Today, so far: I have failed to find our registration renewal form for the minivan.  The tags expire next week.  On the plus side, I have cleaned my desk.  I have also eaten some cookies.

MB’s stuffed bunny and PZ’s stuffed bunnny are going on a date.  They order two carrot Sobes.  I think it’s going to work out between them.

This afternoon I’m going to the eye doctor.  I think my eyesight has degenerated.  If I have to get glasses, SD wants me to get those thick rectangle-framed ones so he can live out his Seduce-the-Librarian fantasy.  I guess.

So how many of you have heard about the Miss Teen USA contestant who was asked why she thought one-fifth of Americans couldn’t locate the U.S. on a map, and she said it was because a lot of people don’t have maps and also because we need to help South Africa and Iraq…or something…?  I’m not here to make fun of her because the poor girl’s been humiliated enough.  My mind is still reeling from the part where one-fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a map.  Are these people non-English-speakers who didn’t understand the question?  Who can’t find the U.S. on a map?  If they couldn’t find Mozambique on a map or Cuba on a map or, heck, even Canada on a map, I wouldn’t be surprised, but the U.S.?  For real?

Test your geographic knowledge of the world’s countries–including, I believe, the U.S.–here.

Okay, I just took that quiz and got an A+, so it was obviously too easy.  Take this one that I got an F on instead.