So I won’t have Mitt Romney to kick around anymore.  He just announced in his speech at CPAC that he’s stepping aside so the party can get on with the business of the national campaign against the Democrats.  I must say, I’m pleasantly surprised–not because I’m glad to see him go.  But at this stage of the game, I think he’s doing the right thing.  He’s being classy.  My scintilla of Mitt-enthusiasm is not dead after all.  If only he had campaigned the same way he gives high-profile speeches, he might have won more states.

In honor of the suspended Romney campaign, I am going to do a meme.  The Mitt Romney connection is tenuous but real.  It hearkens back to the prank his son played on him when he pretended to be Governor Schwarzenegger calling, not by impersonating his voice but by playing sound clips from Schwarzenegger’s films.  (“Who is your daddy, and what does he do?”)  I think the reason Mitt didn’t catch on immediately is that he probably hasn’t seen enough Schwarzenegger films–which is why I’m answering all the questions in this meme with Star Wars quotes.  I bet Mitt’s seen Star Wars.

Also in the spirit of political campaigning, I am making this meme work to my advantage by dodging the questions I don’t like and replacing them with ones I’d rather answer.  Thus is this meme stolen (piecemeal) from both Brother Dv8 and gwennieg.

Mitt Romney Campaign Memorial Meme

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

“When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not.”

2. How much cash do you have on you?

“I don’t have it with me.”

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?”

“Do not underestimate the power of the FOR…ce.”

4. Favorite planet?

“As a matter of fact, I’m not even sure what planet I’m on.”

5. Do you “label” yourself?

“I am a Jedi, like my father before me.”

6. Bright or Dark Room?

“I think my eyes are getting better.  Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur.”

7. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?

“He’s a card player, a gambler, a scoundrel. You’d like him.”

8. What were you doing at midnight last night?

“I isolated the reverse power flux coupling!”

9. Where is your nearest 7-11?

“Dantooine.  They’re on Dantooine.”

10. What’s a word that you say a lot?

“Nooooooo!”

11. Last furry thing you touched?

“I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me.   Of course I’ve looked better!”

12. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

“You’ll find out I’m full of surprises.”

13. Your worst enemy?

“He’s more machine now than man; twisted and evil.”

14. What was the last thing you said to someone?

“It’s not my fault!”

15. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

“Look, I ain’t in this for your revolution, and I’m not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I’m in it for the money.”

16. Do you like someone?

“I happen to like nice men.”

17. Do you own a gun?

“No! Alderaan is peaceful, we have no weapons.”

18. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?

“You tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth he’ll get no such pleasure from us!”

19. What do you think of hot dogs?

“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.”


20. Can you do push ups?

“It’s against my programming to impersonate a deity. “

21. Favorite hobby?

“I used to bull’s-eye womp rats in my T–sixteen back home.”

22. Do you have A.D.D.?

“This one, a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away to the future, the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing.”

23. What’s one trait you hate about yourself?

“My hands are dirty.”

24. Middle name?

“That name no longer has any meaning for me!”

25. Current worry?

“I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do!”

26. Current hate right now?

“I hate long waits.”

27. Favorite place to be?

“Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!”

28. Where would you like to go?

“Marching into the detention area is not what I had in mind.”

29. Would you be a pirate?

“Never.  I’ll never turn to the Dark Side.”

30. Favorite girl’s name?

“Carrie!”

31. What’s in your pocket right now?

“This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster, but an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.”

32. Worst injury you’ve ever had?

“I got a little cooked, but I’m okay.”

33. Do you love where you live?

“Well, if there’s a bright center of the universe, you’re on the planet that it’s farthest from.”

34. Does someone have a crush on you?

“You didn’t see us alone in the south passage. She expressed her true feelings for me.”

35. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

And like some presidential campaigns, this went on way longer than it needed to.

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