I’m calling Pennsylvania for Hillary. 

But I think Obama will beat the spread.  I don’t even know what that means; I just like the way it sounds. 

Once the Right decided to rally ’round McCain, circling the wagons and whatnot, they really went whole-hog–if I may use the expression “whole-hog.”  Is isn’t politically incorrect, is it?  Though I guess if it is, it’s still appropriate to use when you’re talking about Republicans, eh?  (Not because Republicans are pigs, but because they’re politically incorrect.  Or maybe because they are pigs.  Suit yourself.)  Anyway, as I mentioned in a recent post, I think they’ve been going a little overboard on their Obama-bashing–probably because they think he’s going to be the nominee. 

I myself am not so sure.  Random-jokes-I’ve-made-in-the-past aside, I really don’t favor one Democratic candidate over the other.  Policy-wise, they’re enough alike that I just can’t develop a real preference.  Yes, I know they’re not exactly the same.  I don’t think all Koreans look alike either, okay?  I’m just saying that when you don’t like peanut butter, you really can’t develop a hankering for Jif over Skippy or vice versa.  All I know is that I’ve never cared for Peter Pan, and I’m really glad John Edwards is out of the race, too.  Okay, the peanut butter analogy isn’t working for me because I love peanut butter and even though Peter Pan is not my favorite, it’s still way more appealing than John Edwards will ever be.  Unless John Edwards became mute.  Maybe if he were forced to eat a dozen Peter Pan peanut-butter sandwiches and he hadn’t got milk–no, wait, I’m just talking crazy now.  What was I saying?

Oh yeah.  I’m not sure who’s going to win this nomination.  I doubted Hillary once, before New Hampshire–but I won’t make that mistake again.  I knew she’d get Texas, but when she got Ohio, too, I thought, “Dude, I am totally never doubting the Hillster again.”  I call her the Hillster sometimes.  Like just now.  Anyway, it’s true that one of my reasons for never underestimating the Hillster is that I simply won’t put anything past her.  And by “won’t put anything past her,” I don’t mean like selling nuclear secrets to Iran.  I’m talking everything short of that.  (The Clintons may be sneaky, but they’re still patriots.)

On the other hand, Obama is still Obama.  He doesn’t have a name I can easily transform into something hip and ridiculous–unless I went with “the Obamanator” (hey, that’s not bad)–but he’s still very appealing.  For one thing, he seems nice.  Doesn’t he?  For another thing, he’s still the candidate of hope and change.  For yet another thing, he is not Hillary.  One should never underestimate the importance of not being Hillary.  But are hope and change and not being Hillary enough to propel him to the nomination?  I don’t know.  He doesn’t strike me as being ruthless enough to get those SuperDelegates.  But I don’t even understand what SuperDelegates are all about in the first place, so what do I know?

I have not read any of Obama’s books.  I haven’t read Hillary’s books, either, so they’re even.  I’m waiting for Hillary to write her real autobiography, at which time I will totally be reading it–unless Bill’s real biography comes out at the same time, in which case hers would have to take a back seat, no offense to her.  I’m not particularly interested in It Takes a Village.  Similarly, I’m not particularly interested in Barack’s The Audacity of Hope.  No offense to hope, I’m just not interested.  I have been meaning to read Dreams from My Father, but just haven’t gotten around to it yet. 

A couple weeks ago Hugh Hewitt started playing lengthy excerpts from the audio-book version of Dreams (read by Barack himself) on his radio program.  The first thing he played was an excerpt that had Barack using the F-word a lot.  (They bleeped it, of course, but it was still pretty obvious.)  Hugh Hewitt seemed to think that people wouldn’t like a presidential candidate who records his own book on tape and says the actual F-word actually himself–that being on audio record using such language is unbefitting the dignity of the office and Americans would be turned off.  Most of his callers (none of whom were Democrats and none of whom planned to vote for Obama) disagreed.

I disagreed, too (and I wasn’t even a caller).  While voters make decisions based on some pretty superficial criteria, I don’t think anybody makes a voting decision based on a candidate’s audio book.  Because you know, year after year politicians come out with these books, promising they’ll be interesting or educational, but they never are, and after years of hearing all these promises of interesting books and never seeing any evidence of it in their own libraries, folks get bitter and frustrated and cling to the stuff they know is constant, like guns and religion.  Obama understands this, which is why you can’t count him out. 

On the other hand, he does seem to be heading on a downward spiral as of late.  In my opinion, the Jeremiah Wright thing is on the back burner for now, but it would certainly resurface in the general election, whether it deserves to or not.  On the other hand, who really cares about Jeremiah Wright?  It’s impossible for me to gauge because I don’t care about Jeremiah Wright, but that’s because I don’t care about Obama.  However, Obama’s performance in the last debate was, by all accounts, lame.  I heard some clips on the radio and read the transcript on the internet, and I have to agree with all accounts:  he was lame.  Hillary was on her game–but when you consider the strength of her game when it’s on and the wind is blowing in the right direction, how much does that really mean?  She was less lame.  But what do I know?  I prefer Skippy.

I hope Democrats don’t mind that I’m poaching y’all’s primary–because there just ain’t nothing going on over at GOP headquarters.  Make that GOP-HQ, I like the sound of that, too.

Some commentators on the right seem to be laboring under the impression–or fantasy–that the Democrats are going to have a brokered convention and they could very well end up pulling a candidate out of their collective ass (pun intended–oh, like you wouldn’t have done the same in my position) and nominating some random guy like Al Gore.  The wonks over at National Review keep telling me it could happen, but I think they’re just trying to get attention.  Democrats seem to like the Al Gore, but I don’t think common folks would take too kindly to having all their primary votes ignored.  Also, I don’t think Al Gore wants to be president anymore.  I think he’s found his niche in life.  He seems happy.  Why would he run for President, when he’s already aging so poorly? 

In the interest of entertainment, though, I’ll throw this question out to the audience.  If the race were suddenly thrown wide open (short of a Constitutional change that would allow foreign-born citizens to become President–I mean, let’s not get too crazy), who would you want to run?  Nominate candidates for either party or both.  This is an open primary, so to speak.  An open primary in Chicago, where you can vote twice, even if you’re dead.  Maybe especially if you’re dead.  (But don’t tell me you’re dead just to creep me out.)  Mi comment box es su comment box.  (That’s a nod to you voters who are still hung up on the immigration issue.)  Go!