So now that I’ve weaned the baby, my shrink and I are ready to take the pharmaceutical support to a whole new level.  (Or as Eugene Struthers would say, the “HNL.”)  So the first thing we thought we’d try is augmenting the Zoloft with a stimulant, such as Aderall, or what I have ended up taking, which is Vyvanse.  Vyvanse is a newer drug, and it’s fancy, and it’s expensive, but you know, when it comes to my mental health, money is no object.  Or something like that.  So far I think it might be helping a little bit, only not so much that I feel like doing useful things, like cleaning the house.  (Nope, I checked.  Not feeling it.)  It’s also decreasing my appetite, which is impressive. 

Half the time I was in Texas, I forgot to take it, which is how I managed to eat so many pork ribs while I was there, I think, because now that I am taking it regularly again, I am not wanting to eat.  Which is just not like me.  Like, I feel my empty stomach and wooziness from not eating, but I don’t want to eat.  I don’t.  I cannot stress to you enough how UNlike me this is.  I always want to eat.  Except when I’ve just eaten half a rack of pork ribs. But that’s different. 

Today I ate a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats, half a bagel, a cup of yogurt, two Cheetos, and a Zone bar.  That’s it.  I don’t think this can continue.  For one thing, I don’t need to lose weight, so that’s not a benefit.  For another thing, if I stop wanting to eat, I will stop being me, and I won’t know who I am and worse, whoever I am, I may not want to know her.  Who wants to be friends with a person who eats a Zone bar for dinner at 4 p.m.?  Not me. 

Maybe it’s not helping as much as I thought (hoped) it was.  I don’t really want to be on a Schedule II drug anyway, because it’s such a pain in the neck, and I don’t want the hassle of arguing with the insurance company over whether or not they’re going to pay for it.  I had a voucher for thirty free pills, but the pharmacy initially tried to bill my insurance and the insurance company said they wouldn’t cover it because of my age.  My age.  Apparently I am too old to take a drug that is marketed to children with ADHD.  Which seems ridiculous on its face, but logic’s never paid a medical claim, so far as I know, so whatever.  Anyway.  I’ve lost my will to eat, and the house isn’t getting any cleaner by itself, so maybe it’s back to the drawing board for me and the shrink. 

Or maybe I just need to get off my lazy keister and unload the dishwasher.  And put in a load of laundry.  And get some sleep.  Not necessarily in that order.