Not quite a year ago, my husband spent $1,500 and multiple man-hours building a deluxe play structure in the back yard for our children.

It is a beautiful, sunny day in Oregon.  Are my children in the back yard, playing on their $1,500 play structure?

Negative, Rampart.

They are in the front yard, watering the driveway and running back and forth across the street, in their bare feet, because hot asphalt that could very well have broken glass on it is so much more comfortable than grass.

They just don’t like the back yard unless there’s mud there.

Next time we feel like spending $1,500, we should just take everything out of the back yard and make it a giant mud wrestling pit.  We could charge admission.

The carpets are already ruined.  What do we have to lose, besides our dignity?

Never mind.