Quote of the week:

“You don’t want to fiddle around when you have objectives.”
–Mister Bubby, on playing Heroes V:  Might and Magic

Mister Bubby:  Mama, Dad said when I’m 11, I can have a real sword.

Giraffemom:  He did?

MB:  Yeah.  And when I’m 12, I can get real armor.

GM:  Real armor’s good.  [Especially when you already have a real sword.]

MB:  And guess what?  When I’m 13, I’m gonna get a battle axe!  Won’t that be awesome?

GM:  Pretty awesome.  Are you going to get a gun?

MB (contemptuously):  No.  [Duh, Mom.] I want to learn how to do arrows.  Once I learn how to do arrows, I might get a gun.

GM:  Cool.

I got nothing going on here.  Except that I need to go grocery shopping, and I don’t want to.  I don’t want to do anything.  Remember when I told you how I was going to Rock My World with Geodon®?  Well, Geodon did rock my world…to sleep! Remember how I’ve always said there’s no tired like pregnant-tired?  Well, there’s no sleepy like Geodon-sleepy.  At some point I burst into tears because I was so sick-unto-death of fighting unconsciousness.  But I had to fight it because I had things to do and places to go.  Yes, I did have to drive.  Don’t lecture me, I didn’t kill anybody, did I?  (Did I?)  Anyway, one cannot function when one is alternately bursting into tears and slipping into unconsciousness.  The funny thing is that the pharmacist specifically told me I must take the Geodon in the morning, as it has a tendency to interfere with sleep.  Which is funny because at the top of the list of possible side effects is “somnulence.”  That’s a big word.  I’ll give you three guesses as to what it means, and the first two don’t count.  Which makes me wonder if I shouldn’t start taking it again, only this time at night.  Except that I might never wake up again!

Which reminds me, my psychiatrist also instructed me to take some fish oil, but I keep forgetting.  I bought some in the pill form, but she also sent me these pudding packets (“Natural Orange Flavor”–mmmmm).  I’m looking at them right now.  They’re scaring me.  Because, dude, it’s fish oil, and it’s pudding.  Only 2.5 grams of fish oil pudding (“Natural Orange Flavor”!), but still.  I feel inexplicably queasy all of a sudden.  But you know what?  I have to do it some time.  So it may as well be now.  Yeah, that’s right, I’m going to eat one right now.  I am live-blogging fish-oil-pudding-eating!

Here I go.

Hm.  That’s not bad.  Actually, I kind of liked it.  And now I’m really scared.

Okay, there’s an aftertaste.  That’s not awesome.  I think I’ll eat some breakfast now.

Oh, and since Repairman Jack already saw this in my Xanga photos, I have to explain about Tijuana Snoopy.  He was among the crapola I found whilst cleaning out the garage on Saturday.  (Snoopy, not Jack.)

You know, ordinarily I’m a fan of the Snoopy on Velvet, but I’ve discovered that some things are too tacky, even for us.  So how did I come to be in possession of Tijuana Snoopy?  Well, my kids’ babysitter, Gertrude, knows that I love Snoopy, and she mentioned that she and her husband had this velvet painting of Snoopy that they wanted to get rid of, but it was of Snoopy holding a tequila bottle and she wondered if that might be too tacky, even for us.  And I’m afraid I might have said something like, “Haha, Snoopy holding a tequila bottle, I think I need that picture,” because stuff like that is always funnier in theory than it is in real life.

I think I didn’t expect him to look quite so…menacing.  I mean, really, he looks like Snoopy as Angry Drunk, doesn’t he?  That bottle isn’t poised for drinking but for breaking over somebody’s head!  Also, he’s hugging a freaking cactus.  Obviously this is a dog you don’t want to mess with, especially if you’re just a mild-mannered housewife like myself.  Also, I think the real deal-breaker for me is that he’s got “Tijuana” written across his hat.  There’s a fine line between ironic kitsch and wow-that-is-just-sick-and-wrong, and I think the lettering crosses that line.  But what do I know?  I was just an English major.

Anyway, I’m still deciding what to do with it.  But first I have to get the taste of natural-orange-flavored fish oil out of my mouth.  Gentle readers, adieu.