Here’s a little contest for those of you who want to flex your creative muscle(s).  Write a short story containing as many of the following “I am the Giraffe” Wacky Search Terms as possible:

“fishnet glove”

“gay 50’s actors”

“70 percent effaced”

“cow pelt”

“dude great haircut”

“bathing suit pictures for chubby”

“tampax advertisements”

“elvis postmortem”

“lousy hair eggs”

“people say i look like a transvestite”

“hire a clown for a kids party in reno”

“sensible erotica”

“how can i forget i am mentally ill”

“bare armpits”

“abnormal weenie jam”

“free naked pregnant ladies”

“cocaine and pantyhose stories”

“will you have your stomach pumped”

Bonus Challenge phrases:

“baby shower desserts potty chair”

“aerobics pulse raiser stick people”

“lactation breast smother mind control”

“lds mormon women thoughts on wearing sex”

Points will be awarded based on the number of Wacky Search Terms used, degree of difficulty and artistic merit.  You may alter a Wacky Search Term slightly for the sake of grammar, provided you retain the essential integrity of the phrase.  Neatness counts.

Fabulous prizes include:

Nothing.  You’re here to amuse me.

Okay, maybe I’ll make you a super-neato badge you can display proudly on your site:

Or maybe I’ll have somebody else make you a super-neato badge.

Unless I can interest you in a Snoopy on velvet.

Seriously, whatever happened to art for art’s sake?