Sugar Daddy:  Can you believe we’ve been together for twelve years, Mad?

Mad:  Seems like longer, doesn’t it?

SD:  By ten years we had all our babies.

Mad:  That’s right.

SD:  We could have more.

Mad:  Speak for yourself.

SD:  All I’d need to do is take a hole punch to a certain implement in the bathroom cabinet…

Mad:  Yeah, if I end up pregnant, you can bet I’ll be taking a hole punch to a certain implement.

SD:  Someone’s feeling “eggy” today.


Mad:  I had the weirdest dreams last night.

SD:  Was anybody naked?

Mad:  No.  Kristen Bell was in one of them, though.

SD:  Well, that’s not weird.  She’s in most of mine.

Mad:  But in mine she wasn’t naked.


Mad:  Ugh, this cat in Arkansas had naked pictures of his wife on his cell phone, and he left it at the McDonald’s.  The McDonald’s!  With predictable results.

SD:  I promise never to leave naked cell phone pictures of you at the McDonald’s.

Mad:  Well, I feel fairly confident that you don’t have any naked cell phone pictures of me in the first place.

SD:  I don’t know why you should feel so confident.  How do you know I’m not taking them while you’re asleep?

Mad:  Because you possess a modicum of decency?  Because you don’t own a camera phone?

SD:  Maybe I’m using yours.

Mad:  True.

SD:  So if you see a check in the mail from “crotchshots-dot-com,” just put it aside.

Mad:  That’s the grossest thing I’ve heard all day.

SD:  Have you ever visited “crotchshots-dot-com”?

Mad:  No.

SD:  Well, you’re missing out.

Mad:  That’s the plan.

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