I totally planned on watching, or at least listening to, the inauguration this morning, but I ended up not.  For one thing, I wasn’t exactly sure when it was happening.  I’ve never watched an inauguration before.  Do they do it in the morning or the afternoon?  Well, apparently they do it at noon, which makes sense–not too early, not too late–just about perfect, actually.  Yes, noon EST, which was about a half-hour ago.  Hmph.

Well, what can I say?  I don’t usually have the TV on in the morning.  I used to always turn the radio on after the kids left for school, but now that Townhall radio has left Portland and the only talk show on at this hour is Rush Limbaugh, I just don’t do the radio anymore either.  I feel very out of touch.  I download podcasts onto my iPod, but by the time I end up listening to them, the news is old.  I suppose I could turn the radio on now, even if it is Rush Limbaugh.  I could live-blog Rush Limbaugh’s reaction to the inauguration.  That would be…fascinating.

….SNORE….

Sorry, checked out for a minute there.

Okay, now I’ve turned on the radio and some lady is talking.  I don’t know who.  I suppose I should turn the TV on so I can see who it is.  She said “cotton and lettuce.”  I just thought of arugula.  You know, the arugula thing is finally funny to me, but I don’t think now is the time.

I turned on the TV and she looked familiar, but I didn’t recognize her.  Hey, I recognize Dianne Feinstein, though.  That’s Dianne Feinstein, isn’t it?  Who cares?  Girlfriend has no patience for this historical moment.  TV is back off.  Wall-E is on.

Radio is still on.  Rush Limbaugh is inserting occasional snark.  Not during the benediction, though, so that’s nice.

Yeah, that’s my live-blogging.  I should really make breakfast.  This cat’s prayer has grown tiresome.  I’m sorry, but it’s hard enough for me to listen to prayers in church.  I have limited patience for speech-prayer hybrids.  I assure you this is not partisan sniping.  It’s a personal failing.  I take full responsibility for it.

What an awesomely brief speech-prayer.  Now they’re singing “The Star-Spangled Banner.”  I do love “The Star-
Spangled Banner.”  I’m sort of alone in this, I realize.  But I’m a fan.  I like it.  And now it’s “Stars and Stripes Forever.”  And Rush Limbaugh is being snarky again.  And now he’s shut up again.  This is really not that compelling on radio.  It doesn’t help that I missed the most interesting part.

And now the opening strains of “Back to Ohio.”  Ah, the Rush Limbaugh Show.  How I have not missed you.  Oh, crap, Rush Limbaugh just called the Rev. Lowry’s prayer a “speech-slash-prayer.”  Now I feel dirty.  Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t hate Rush Limbaugh.  Over the years I’ve come to appreciate his peculiar gift(s).  He just isn’t my cuppa.  I like him best in small doses–preferably at those moments when he’s in really rare form and going off on someone who totally deserves it.  But his snark, while restrained, is a little premature here.  Have something nice to say for at least five minutes, dude.  Radio off.

That reminds me, I’ve been listening to these Townhall podcasts, which I love, but they have these “Grassfire” commercials where some cat invites me to join a “patriotic, conservative resistance” to Barack Obama’s creeping socialism.  He doesn’t say “creeping socialism,” he says something else–and I’ve heard it so many freaking times now, I can’t believe I don’t remember the exact words, but it’s something like “Barack Obama’s rapid move toward socialism.”  Okay, I’m a conservative.  I can finally say those words without choking on them.  And I didn’t vote for Barack Obama, there are no tingles going up my leg when he speaks, and I’m obviously not hosting an inaugural party because I’m so effing excited he’s my President.  But dude.  He was sworn in half an hour ago.  HE HASN’T DONE ANYTHING YET.  Can we hold off a little on the histrionics, please?  I’m trying not to have expectations.  I want to give Pres. Obama a chance for success.  I don’t want him to succeed at enacting a socialist agenda, but he just became President a few minutes ago.  Let’s see what he actually does before we start forming a resistance to it.

Hopefully, you all already bought your automatic weapons.  Right?

I’m just teasing.  (You bought them, right?  You got my back?)  I was going to tell you about my weekend, but I’m trying to work on making my blog posts less long-winded, so you’ll have to wait.  I know it’s Tuesday already.  Maybe later today.  I just need more time.  Make like I’m Pres. Obama and be patient with me!

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