I don’t think I even announced on the blog that I was going to Vegas.  I think I didn’t have time.  Or I was lazy.  Yeah, lazy.  Well, whatever–I was going to go to Vegas, and in fact I did follow through and actually go to Vegas, and now I’m back.  That’s why I was driving around in the middle of nowhere at 1 a.m. the other day.  (I was going to say “Monday night,” but technically it was Tuesday morning, but who thinks of 1 a.m. as “morning”?  It’s just too confusing to assign an actual day, which is why I decided to go with “the other.”  Clever of me, huh?  This helpful writing tip is complimentary to you, courtesy Madhousewife.  You’re welcome.)  I was driving home from the airport–which, I can assure you, I’ve done plenty of times, even in the dark, without complications.  I was just really tired on the other day, so I got confused and consequently lost.  Getting confused and consequently lost is a regular occurrence with me, especially when driving.  It just doesn’t usually happen on the way home from the airport.  Driving home from the airport has historically been a consistent “winner” for me, which is why my self-confidence has really been hurt by this recent incident.  I don’t think I’ll be flying for a while (which is good because my husband already informed me that I’m not allowed to leave home for the rest of 2009).

As I was saying, though, I was in Vegas, but now I’m home.  You might be wondering why I went to Vegas in the first place.  That is, you might be wondering, if you weren’t in Vegas with me–for that is why I went to Vegas, gentle reader:  to meet some sister bloggers, including my (actual) sister, Cheryl, Alison Wonderland, Susan M, flip flop mama, Janelle, and Shantae (invitation-only, sorry suckahs! well, don’t feel bad, I don’t have one either).  Yes, that makes eight Mormon ladies in Las Vegas for the weekend.  I know what you’re thinking now:  “Still confused.”  What is there for eight Mormon ladies to do in Las Vegas, anyway?  Well, I’ll tell you:  not much.  Fortunately, our people are an industrious lot, and we can find stuff to do anywhere–even in a city that was made especially not for us.

It’s interesting that as many years as I’ve been blogging, I have only just started meeting any fellow/sister bloggers in real life in the last couple of months.  That’s probably because I’ve only really started interacting with other Mormon bloggers in the last year.  That’s the thing about Mormons:  wherever two or more of us are gathered, someone starts craving refreshments, and you can only serve refreshments in real life–hence, you must meet one another in real life!  Mormons are very good about organizing and throwing parties.  It’s one of the things I appreciate most about our culture.

I, for one, started eating Cheetos mere seconds after getting into Cheryl’s car.  (She and Allison picked me up at the airport.)  And thus was our friendship sealed.  FOREVER.

What Do Mormons Do in Sin City?

We commit sins of omission.  For example, we did not see any shows.  No, not even Donny and Marie.  Yes, I know, “how do Mormons go to Las Vegas and not see Donny and Marie?”  Well, it’s easy. Donny and Marie were, like, $100 a ticket.  Dude, no one loves Donny and Marie that much.  Correction:  Nobody I know loves Donny and Marie that much.  We also missed Siegfried and Roy’s last show, apparently.  Also, the NASCAR convention, or whatever it was.  A bunch of NASCAR people converging on Las Vegas.  A NASCAR convergence?  Whatever.  We didn’t do any of that stuff.

We did go to the top of the Stratosphere, but we didn’t ride any rides.  I know, how lame is that?  Well, two of the three rides up there were closed for maintenance, and anyway, the Stratosphere is really, really high!  I was getting sick just looking out the window.  I wasn’t about to get inside some rickety something-or-other to fly around and get sick on other people and possibly wet myself out of pure terror.  I got enough of that on my last trip to Magic Mountain.  And apparently my traveling companions had similar feelings about the issue.  So we just looked out the window.

What were we doing in Las Vegas again?  You ask too many questions.  Just let me tell my story, will you?

We went out for Thai food and were serenaded by a very talented lounge singer we christened “Kenny” because he sounded a lot like Kenny Rogers and we were too shy to ask him for his real name.

We walked through a bunch of casinos and didn’t play any games because seriously, it’s so sad that people waste their lives that way.

If only the house we rented had such marvelous ceilings!

If only the house we rented had such marvelous ceilings!

Some of us went to the temple (we have one in Las Vegas because for some reason, lots of Mormons live there).  However, while those good ladies were at the temple, Susan, Bythelbs and I went to the Liberace Museum.  The Liberace Museum is awesome because a) it’s freaking Liberace, dude, and b) it’s located in a strip mall.

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It’s housed in two buildings, at opposite ends of the strip mall, and between the two buildings are an international market, a tailor, and a Hookah Smoke Shop, among other things.  The first building is devoted to Liberace’s personal and family history and his cars and pianos.  The second building houses his costumes and jewelry and other assorted artifacts, including the world’s biggest rhinestone.  Who knew there was such a thing as the world’s biggest rhinestone?  But where else would it be, besides the Liberace Museum?

The best part is the life-size cardboard Liberace wearing his red, white and blue “hot pants” outfit.  I didn’t get a picture of cardboard Liberace because I was too busy posing with him for someone else’s picture.  But this should give you an idea:

Helpful hint:  Liberace had very hairy legs

Helpful hint: Liberace had very hairy legs

On Sunday we went to the Valley of Fire national park.  (That was our requisite sin of commission:  we ditched church on Sunday.  I know.  We were wild, I tell you, wild!)  The Valley of Fire makes an interesting contrast to the city of Las Vegas.  Las Vegas is an amazing spectacle–everything done to excess, but ultimately a whole lot of nothing.  It is probably the most depressing place I have ever seen.  (Easy for me to say–I didn’t even take in a single naked vampire show!)  The Valley of Fire is truly spectacular.  My pictures don’t do it justice.  The rocks are very red.  The sky that day was very blue.  It was really a gorgeous day.  I took more pictures there than I’ve probably taken anywhere, but only a couple were really any good, and that was mostly on accident because I’m a terrible photographer.  Every so often, though, the natural world overcomes my incompetence.

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Technically, that’s not entirely the natural world as the bright white lines were made by airplanes, but still–kind of cool, eh?

Anyway, that’s what I did on my Vegas vacation.  The best part was meeting all these wonderful ladies and enjoying their fine company.  Thank you, ladies!  You were better than naked vampires any day of the week.  (And you know I mean that.)

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