I read this article that says I’m shampooing my hair too much.  Or rather, Americans in general shampoo their hair too much because the norm is to shampoo daily.  It’s all just a big conspiracy to get us to buy more shampoo.  I know what you’re thinking:  “I have to shampoo my hair every day or otherwise it gets too greasy.”  According to the article, your daily shampooing is causing the grease problem because shampooing strips the hair of its natural oil, sebum, and your sebum-producing glands compensate for the loss by producing more oil.

Another thing you might be thinking:  “I have to shampoo my hair every day or otherwise it smells like sweat and other natural smells that are unpleasant.”  According to the article…yeah, whatever.

You might also be thinking you have to shampoo your hair every day because you go swimming in chlorinated water every day.  I don’t think the article has anything to say about that either.  I’m just trying to pre-empt every justification you can think of for your Big Shampoo-supporting ways.

Some ecologically-conscientious person cited in the article says she went three months without using any shampoo; instead she washed her hair twice a week with baking soda and conditioned it with a vinegar rinse, whatever a “vinegar rinse” is.  Baking soda.  I’m not seeing it.  Actually, what I’m seeing is baking soda mixed with vinegar getting all bubbly and looking like shampoo without actually being shampoo.  That might be fun. Except that it sounds like more trouble than just using shampoo, so I’m not quite down with that.

Dermatologists recommend washing hair no more than two to three times a week.  So I went two days without washing my hair.  The first day was okay.  The second day was not so hot.  So I washed it again today.  I’ll try not washing it again tomorrow.

I don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish here.  Healthier hair, I guess.  I don’t know–can I have healthier hair if I’m still coloring it?  Which reminds me, I’m about three weeks overdue for my root touch-up.  I knew this was going to happen.  I knew if I started coloring my hair, I was not going to be able to keep it up.  It’s been about a year and I’m still very haphazard about the upkeep of the color.  It’s just such a bother.  In theory it’s easy:  you just mix the color with the developer and work it into your hair, wait ten minutes and rinse it out.  In real life it involves me waiting until the kids are in bed and can’t interrupt me and also me standing up for about 20 minutes at that hour without collapsing.  Once I do it I realize that it isn’t so bad, but the thought of doing it is just so daunting.  So I keep putting it off until I start wondering why I’m coloring my hair at all and maybe I should just go back to my natural color.

My natural color is dull brown mixed with gray.  As I recall, it makes me look really old.  Well, not really old.  Only about seven years older than I actually am, which is just a lot older than I’d rather look.  Also, I’ve noticed that since I started coloring my hair, my roots are looking more and more gray.  I’m afraid I’m going to stop dying my hair and my hair will be much grayer than I remembered it being.  I’ll have to start cutting it again.  I stopped cutting it because I thought with the gray gone I could get away with longer hair, and I just wanted to see how that would work for me.  I guess it works okay.  I really like not having to worry about getting my hair cut or that awkward phase between haircuts when my hair is exactly the wrong length.  On the other hand, if I’m forgetting to dye my roots, I’m really not getting away with this long hair business.  What to do, what to do.

Questions for gentle readers:

1.  How often do you wash your hair?  I’m just curious.

2.  How bad do you think it is to look 44 when you’re really only 37?

3.  Have you tried those Roasted Gorgonzola crackers from Trader Joe’s?  They’re like a crime against humanity.  Not because of the taste.  Just because of the smell.  That has nothing to do with hair, except that I’m pretty sure the essence of Gorgonzola is reeking from every conceivable pore in my and my children’s bodies.  They don’t even taste that good.  They’re just so darn…crispy.

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