This morning I went to the Target so I could buy myself some more hair color.  I finally got the urge to touch up my roots on Sunday, and I realized that I was all out of Clairol Perfect 10.  Which is funny because the last time I was at the store to buy hair color, Clairol Perfect 10 was on sale, and I bought two boxes of it.  Considering how many weeks I go between hair colorings (8-12?), I was amazed to learn that I had already gone through both boxes.  I mean, how long ago did I buy it?  I could have sworn it was less than 16-24 weeks ago.  Oh well.

So I was at the Target for the express purpose of buying hair color–a rarity for me, as I’m usually at the Target for the express purpose of buying any damn thing, just so long as I’m spending money–and I had Girlfriend with me, which meant that I had some opposition to the project.

Ordinarily Girlfriend loves the Target.  She loves everything about Target.  But today was different because I was only going to the Target to kill time and get some hair color, and because I didn’t have anything particular against hanging out at Target and letting her play with all the toys, or for that matter, all of the small kitchen utensils, Girlfriend decided that that was definitely what she did NOT want to do.  What did she want to do?  Hell if I know.  Hell if she knew either–she just didn’t want THAT.

So as I said, I encountered a lot more opposition to picking up my hair color than I’d anticipated–but that was fine, since we managed to kill about 45 minutes just with whining and throwing ourselves down on the floor.  I was totally cool with just grabbing the hair color–provided I could just…get…to that…aisle…almost there…okay, finally!  I was at long last standing in front of the big wall of hair color.  Girlfriend was not technically with me, but she was (more or less) within seeing distance, and bonus!  Clairol Perfect 10 just happened to be on sale this week.  So great.  This time I shall buy five or six boxes, thought I, which should be enough to last me 40-72 weeks, theoretically.

Only here was the thing.  There was tons of Clairol Perfect 10 hair color.  A full inventory of every single freaking shade, EXCEPT–wait for it–light auburn (i.e., mine).  Seriously, ten boxes of medium brown, ten boxes of dark brown, ten boxes of light ash blonde, ten boxes of medium golden brown, etc., right down the line, but zero (0) boxes of light auburn.


You know, for a few days there I was actually considering that the grey might make me look a little bit distinguished, just so I wouldn’t have to go to the trouble of actually coloring my hair again, but as of looking in the mirror last night…no.  Just no.  So I was so desperate for a root touch-up this morning, but still so very lazy, that as I was staring into the big gaping hole in the hair color wall that is Clairol Perfect 10 Light Auburn’s spot, I actually considered switching to Light Reddish Blonde, or whatever the hell they’re calling it (it’s new, I don’t remember the name), just so I could get my hair colored and done with–I mean, I’ve thought about going lighter before, just for giggles, how bad could it be?–but in the end I decided I couldn’t do blonde of any kind, nor could I go for Dark Auburn.  I’ve done the Dark Auburn before, but that was fifteen years ago and I’m not sure I pulled it off then, let alone now that I’m, you know, old.

So whatever, I’m on a tangent now.  The point is that I left the Target, still desperate for hair color, so I decided to stop at the Albertsons, on the off chance that they sold Clairol Perfect 10 in the shade I wanted–just because it was on the way home and I needed to kill a little more time anyway, not because I thought it would actually be there.  But as it happened, they did have it.  They carry exactly two shades of Clairol Perfect 10, and one of them is Light Auburn.  Go figure.

You know what this means, don’t you?  It means that everyone and their German Shepherd must be using Clairol Perfect 10 Light Auburn on their hair.  I’m trying to decide if that should bother me or not.

I am a fan of the Clairol Perfect 10 Light Auburn.  It gives me more intense results than the stuff I was using before, whatever that was.  (Oh, I know, I’m so over it.)  The first time I used it, I left it on my roots a little too long, and I got this big stripe of brassy red on top of my head, but that was entirely my fault.  Actually, it’s still a little brassy when I first put it on, but that’s kind of what I like about it.

I noticed something when I colored my hair back in December and I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a tinted window.  I was wearing my new coat, which is extra-super warm, but it has this faux fur collar that’s a little on the kitschy side–I call it my Huggy Bear Coat.  Anyway, I had my brand new fake red hair and my Huggy Bear Coat with the fake fur, and on top of all that I was wearing lipstick at the time–and I noticed that with the combination of all three of those things, at least in a tinted-glass reflection, I looked a little bit like a floozy.  I’m not saying it like it’s a bad thing.  At the time I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not, but I’ve decided since then that no matter how it looks, it can’t help being a little bit awesome.  At any rate, it’s better than looking grey and haggard and like I birthed four babies without ever getting laid, that much is for sure.  (Did I just say what you think I just said?  Probably not.  It’s the internet, your eyes play tricks.)

And that’s why I buy Clairol Perfect 10 Light Auburn.  Just like you and your German Shepherd probably do.

So yeah, I got my hair color, but I still haven’t done my hair yet because I’m still lazy and not quite as desperate as I thought I was.  (I also haven’t looked in any mirrors lately.  Stop hassling me, dude.)

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