So I was wasting time on the Facebook this weekend, and I picked my top five Celebrity Crushes.  I will share them with you now.

#1

David Duchovny

David Duchovny

#2

Jeremy Northam

Jeremy Northam

#3

Sam Waterston

Sam Waterston

#4

Daniel Day Lewis

Daniel Day Lewis

#5

Liam Neeson

Liam Neeson

My Facebook friends noticed a distinct resemblance among these five cats.  Brother Okiebu pointed out that they all had “strong noses.”  I must say, I do enjoy a strong nose.  The first thing I notice about a man is his nose.  Because seriously, how can you miss it?  It’s RIGHT THERE.  If it isn’t, there’s a problem.  That’s what I say.

I have loved men whose noses were not particularly prominent.  I was going to give examples, but none is springing to mind at the moment…I’ll have to get back to you on that.

My husband also noticed the resemblance among these celebrity crushes of mine.  He thought it was creepy.  His celebrity crushes were much more varied.  Christine McGlade, Mary Stuart Masterson, Helena Bonham Carter, Gillian Anderson, and Shelly Fabares.  I assume that none of these women strike him as the type that smell bad.  I suppose that in this respect, my husband has a nose thing, too.

Speaking of my husband, his nose doesn’t strike me as particularly strong.  But neither is it unstrong.  It is perfectly fine.  And my husband is a very good-looking man.  It just wasn’t his nose that attracted me to him.  It was probably his eyes and that gap between his front teeth.  (And yet I do not have a thing for David Letterman.  Particularly.)

The other thing about these men is that they’re all tall.  You can’t really tell that from the photos, but I think the shortest one is David Duchovny, and he’s 6 feet. I always thought I would marry a tall man, but I didn’t.  My husband is 5’6″.  This kind of freaked me out, initially, because I thought dating a short man would be awkward.  Especially since I was very fond of wearing high heels at the time.  So I felt about 5’9″, when I was really only 5’7″.

I don’t remember if I immediately went out and bought flats or not.  I think I might have for the wedding.  I think I still looked taller than him in the pictures.  But it turned out that it isn’t that awkward dating a shorter man, or being married to one.  Especially when the height difference is one inch.  I went back to wearing heels a couple years ago, because I like the way they look and I’m no longer self-conscious about being taller than my husband.  (I don’t know how my husband feels about it.  I never asked him because I thought the question might be emasculating.  Real men don’t care if their wives tower over them, right?)

I thought about making a separate list for my chick celebrity crushes, but I could only think of these two.

Kristen Bell

Kristen Bell

Gillian Anderson

Gillian Anderson

And that just isn’t enough for a list.  I could probably come up with three other ladies I think are hot, but I wouldn’t love them, so putting them on the same list as these two would just be insulting, in a way.

Neither of these women has a prominent nose, nor are they tall.  They are both decidedly on the petite and perky side.  What does that say about me?  That I don’t like my women looking like my men, I guess.  That’s…heterosexual of me…I think.

But the height thing is interesting.  Kristen Bell is 5’1″ and Gillian Anderson is 5’3″.  Have you ever noticed how often very tall men end up with very short women?  I have.  It used to really bother me, back when I was in the market for tall men, and they were all dating perky, petite women.  Now that I’m no longer in the market for any men, tall or otherwise, I seem to have made my peace with perky, petite women.

Actually, I’m sure it’s something much weirder than making peace.  Maybe I still harbor a desire to be with a tall man, only since it’s forbidden–what with being married and all–it’s morphed into some fantasy about being a tall man and consequently being attracted to short women…which isn’t forbidden…because I’m not actually gay.  Particularly.

And now I end this ill-considered but highly attractive blog.  Use the comment section to psychoanalyze me and/or confess your own celebrity crushes.

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