So I was wasting time on the Facebook this weekend, and I picked my top five Celebrity Crushes. I will share them with you now.
#1
David Duchovny
#2
Jeremy Northam
#3
Sam Waterston
#4
Daniel Day Lewis
#5
Liam Neeson
My Facebook friends noticed a distinct resemblance among these five cats. Brother Okiebu pointed out that they all had “strong noses.” I must say, I do enjoy a strong nose. The first thing I notice about a man is his nose. Because seriously, how can you miss it? It’s RIGHT THERE. If it isn’t, there’s a problem. That’s what I say.
I have loved men whose noses were not particularly prominent. I was going to give examples, but none is springing to mind at the moment…I’ll have to get back to you on that.
My husband also noticed the resemblance among these celebrity crushes of mine. He thought it was creepy. His celebrity crushes were much more varied. Christine McGlade, Mary Stuart Masterson, Helena Bonham Carter, Gillian Anderson, and Shelly Fabares. I assume that none of these women strike him as the type that smell bad. I suppose that in this respect, my husband has a nose thing, too.
Speaking of my husband, his nose doesn’t strike me as particularly strong. But neither is it unstrong. It is perfectly fine. And my husband is a very good-looking man. It just wasn’t his nose that attracted me to him. It was probably his eyes and that gap between his front teeth. (And yet I do not have a thing for David Letterman. Particularly.)
The other thing about these men is that they’re all tall. You can’t really tell that from the photos, but I think the shortest one is David Duchovny, and he’s 6 feet. I always thought I would marry a tall man, but I didn’t. My husband is 5’6″. This kind of freaked me out, initially, because I thought dating a short man would be awkward. Especially since I was very fond of wearing high heels at the time. So I felt about 5’9″, when I was really only 5’7″.
I don’t remember if I immediately went out and bought flats or not. I think I might have for the wedding. I think I still looked taller than him in the pictures. But it turned out that it isn’t that awkward dating a shorter man, or being married to one. Especially when the height difference is one inch. I went back to wearing heels a couple years ago, because I like the way they look and I’m no longer self-conscious about being taller than my husband. (I don’t know how my husband feels about it. I never asked him because I thought the question might be emasculating. Real men don’t care if their wives tower over them, right?)
I thought about making a separate list for my chick celebrity crushes, but I could only think of these two.
Kristen Bell
Gillian Anderson
And that just isn’t enough for a list. I could probably come up with three other ladies I think are hot, but I wouldn’t love them, so putting them on the same list as these two would just be insulting, in a way.
Neither of these women has a prominent nose, nor are they tall. They are both decidedly on the petite and perky side. What does that say about me? That I don’t like my women looking like my men, I guess. That’s…heterosexual of me…I think.
But the height thing is interesting. Kristen Bell is 5’1″ and Gillian Anderson is 5’3″. Have you ever noticed how often very tall men end up with very short women? I have. It used to really bother me, back when I was in the market for tall men, and they were all dating perky, petite women. Now that I’m no longer in the market for any men, tall or otherwise, I seem to have made my peace with perky, petite women.
Actually, I’m sure it’s something much weirder than making peace. Maybe I still harbor a desire to be with a tall man, only since it’s forbidden–what with being married and all–it’s morphed into some fantasy about being a tall man and consequently being attracted to short women…which isn’t forbidden…because I’m not actually gay. Particularly.
And now I end this ill-considered but highly attractive blog. Use the comment section to psychoanalyze me and/or confess your own celebrity crushes.
I am the giraffe 
17 comments
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April 27, 2009 at 10:09 am
bythelbs
I’m not particularly gay either yet I can appreciate an attractive woman.
Nice list, by the way. All very attractive people. I’ve had a thing for Mr. Northam since he was Mr. Knightley. And I love Liam Neeson, especially, though his eyes are a tad creepy in that picture. I was very sad when his wife died. Poor Liam.
April 27, 2009 at 10:23 am
flip flop mama
I’ve always had a crush on David Duchovny. Something about his lips. I love a crooked smile. On another note, when I click on his name to see what comes up as spelling suggestions it says Duckpond. I wonder if he wouldn’t be as sexy if his name was David Duckpond.
April 27, 2009 at 10:33 am
madhousewife
flip-flop – I’m sure that if his name were David Duckpond, duck ponds would suddenly become very sexy to me.
bythelbs – Liam’s eyes do look a little weird in that picture. I guess I was just looking at his nose.
April 27, 2009 at 10:50 am
flip flop mama
Agreed.
April 27, 2009 at 11:42 am
Mother of the Wild Boys
Yeah, when I did my celeb crush list I had a hard time thinking of anyone besides Brad Pitt. Of course, I have a hard time thinking of anyone else besides Brad Pitt in any given situation. 😉
April 27, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Janelle
It seems to me that Owen Wilson fits your likes as well. Unless of course you do not prefer blondes.
I can’t say I have female celebrity crushes, but in another life I want to look like Natalie Portman.
April 27, 2009 at 2:21 pm
madhousewife
I do not prefer blondes, so Owen Wilson wouldn’t make my list. However, I do find Owen Wilson strangely attractive, and it is probably the nose.
April 27, 2009 at 12:43 pm
shazza
It’s hard to psychoanalyze properly when you are laughing this hard.
Love Liam. Love Duckpond. Love Owen.
April 27, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Susan M
Those people are all definitely crush-worthy, but I don’t think any of them would make my list. I think I recently did a similar post, but I can’t remember who I listed. That’s because my memory stinks. I’m lucky I haven’t already posted a second “celebrity crush” post and made myself look like an idiot.
Except for Salma Hayek. I love her.
April 27, 2009 at 2:21 pm
madhousewife
Hayek is hot!
April 27, 2009 at 2:34 pm
bythelbs
This new reply button feature is kind of freaking me out. I don’t like change. I prefer all comments to be in one neat and orderly column. None of this indentation. We can figure out who people are responding to, for crying out loud! I mean, can’t we?
April 27, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Ivan Wolfe
Have you ever noticed how often very tall men end up with very short women?
Not really. Although I’m 6 foot 1 inch and my wife is 6 foot 2 inches, so it may be just me.
April 27, 2009 at 4:10 pm
madhousewife
Indeed, Ivan, it is just you! And another couple I know, who are 6’0″ and 6’3″. But seriously, it is just the four of you! 😉
April 27, 2009 at 4:25 pm
tawnya
I’m all about #’s 2 & 4. My crushes are all tall dark and nerdy. All of them. Or British. Or Australian. Give me a tall dark nerdy Australian and I would be in heaven.
April 27, 2009 at 10:47 pm
annie valentine
My husband likes me to wear five inch spikes so I will be taller than him. He’s got a thing for the amazon look. Since I’m a huge proponent of five inch spikes, we’re a good match.
I always thought I’d marry a shorter guy because I like a good full contact hug. Wait, that didn’t sound right…
April 28, 2009 at 8:42 pm
flip flop mama
I’m one of those short girl-tall guy couples. DH is 6 foot and I’m 5′ 2″. BUT that’s not the worst I’ve seen. We have friends where the DH is 6′ 4″ and his wife is 5′ 1″. That’s just crazy to me.
April 30, 2009 at 5:28 am
Patience
I used to love Liam Neeson–did you ever see him in Ethan Frome? Awesome. It’s one of my all-time favorite movies. My current celebrity boyfriend is Ralph Fiennes.