Sugar Daddy:  You’re going to be 38 soon, and I’m going to make fun of you for being old.

Madhousewife:  Wow.  That will be so different from how you ordinarily treat me that I won’t know how to react.  My feelings will be so hurt.

SD:  See you later, old lady.  I’m going to bring you a cane when I come home.

I have been in a most serious funk as of late, and I can assure you all it is not because I am turning 38 in a few days.  I have been anticipating turning 38 for quite some time.  I’m actually looking forward to it because truth be told, I’m not all that fond of the number 37.  But that’s neither here nor there.  I don’t care about being older.  I care about being happy.

I dialed up my dose of Effexor so I am taking double what I was a few weeks ago.  I’m still waiting for that to kick in.  Or maybe it has kicked in, and I really have nothing left to live for.  Just kidding!  No, I’m fine, I’m just totally lacking in motivation, energy and overall spunk.  It makes it very hard to clean the house and also to do things that are not ordinarily odious.  I have to force myself to socialize with others.  If I’ve written more than 500 words in the last five weeks, I’d be quite surprised to learn it.  I’ve even been way down on the Facebook usage.  That’s how serious it is.

Obviously, I need to eat better and get more exercise.  I’m just saying that so you don’t have to tell me.  I’m on record as knowing it.

Speaking of eating better, I could totally go for a pizza right now.  Or some fried chicken.  Maybe some fried chicken AND pizza.  I’m not actually going to eat either of those things.  Nor am I going to bust out the two bags of Cheetos I’m hiding in the garage.  Maybe.

I was going to blog about Miss California and her controversial photographs, but I lost interest in the middle of it.  Or I forgot what my opinion was.  Maybe both.  How long ago was that, anyway?  Princess Zurg said something funny the other day.  I wrote it down somewhere.  Mister Bubby said something, too, but I didn’t write it down, and now I’ve forgotten it.  I knew I would.  At the time he said it, I thought, “That’s so funny, I should write it down so I don’t forget it.  But it’s not convenient to write it down now.  I’ll have to just concentrate so hard on being amused that I never forget it.  Yeah, that’s not going to work.”  And just as I predicted, it didn’t.

I have a tap recital in…nine days.  I don’t feel remotely prepared.  I haven’t been practicing enough.  It’s a good thing I’m in the back row this year.  On the plus side, I think I will look really cute in my costume.

Last night we took the kids to the library.  We haven’t been to the library in ages.  I checked out three serial killer books.  I think those ought to lift my spirits.

I don’t feel sorry for myself.  If I felt sorry for myself, I’d have more to write.  But…yeah, I got nothing.  Sorry.  (For you.)

Madhousewife is the new Ennui Czar for the Obama administration.