As I recall, I sort of indicated that I might give you a summary of my vacation after the kids got back in school.  I think I was lying.  Or rather, I misled.  You probably will, eventually, get a recap of my vacation BECAUSE I KNOW YOU’RE ALL WAITING ON PINS AND NEEDLES TO HEAR ABOUT IT!, but how long after the kids have been in school, it remains to be seen.  I’m just not in the mood.

I found out last week that my high school class is having a reunion next month.  I always intended to attend my 20th high school reunion.  I skipped the 10-year reunion because it happened right after I moved to Oregon, and I didn’t want to have to pay for the plane ticket, and I assumed that probably no one I liked was going to be there.  I found out later that actually a bunch of people that I liked were there, so I kind of regretted not going.  I wasn’t torn up about it or anything, but I did say to myself, “I will definitely go to my 20-year reunion.”

So the 20-year reunion year approached, but I never heard about any reunion.  I looked for information about a reunion.  I became Facebook friends with people from high school that I was never really friends with because I was hoping maybe they’d know something about a reunion that I didn’t, but no, I never found out anything about any old reunion.  Eventually I just figured maybe they weren’t having one.  Sometimes people lose interest, you know, and no one organizes a reunion.  I sure as hickety-heck wasn’t going to.  Plus, now that there was Facebook, who really needed a reunion, anyway?  So whatever.

Then, exactly one week ago, I got a Facebook message from someone on the reunion committee, reminding me that I only had four more weeks to buy my reunion tickets.  It would have been useful to get one of these “reminders,” say, a month ago.  Because I don’t like to make decisions that involve a $99 ticket to a reunion I may or may not enjoy on the spur of the moment.  Yes, “four weeks” counts as “spur” when there is plane travel and multiple (>1) days of childcare to arrange.  These things aren’t simple!  They’re complicated!  And do I really want to go to my 20-year high school reunion after all?  Really?  Just because I’ve been saying for the last ten years that I would?  Is that any kind of reason?

I think I’ve decided that I will go.  It just seems like the thing to do.  I don’t want to regret not going.  Even if I go and it sucks, at least I’ll have a few hours at the airport and also up in the sky to read a book or whatever.  That could never be regrettable, could it?  So yes, I’ve decided to go.  I just have to make the arrangements.

Fortunately, I’m making this decision to late to include my bio in the special Bio Book keepsake they’ll be handing out at the reunion.  If it weren’t too late, I would feel obligated to write a bio, but then I would agonize over what to say that wouldn’t make me sound like a loser.  I don’t mind being a loser, dig, I just don’t like sounding like a loser.  Or looking like one, which is, I suppose, what would be happening if someone were reading my bio.  Unless someone was having the bio read to them, which might be the case if that person were blind and there were no Braille version of the Bio Book, which I’m assuming there would not be.  In that case I would both sound and look like a loser, to sighted and unsighted alike.  And that is just uncool.

So yeah, I’m glad I missed that deadline.

That just leaves the problem of looking and sounding like a loser in person, which for some reason doesn’t bother me nearly as much as looking and sounding like a loser in print.  In-person losership is ephemeral.  There’s plausible deniability there.  “I saw you in person last year, and you were such a loser.”  “No, I wasn’t, you’re just misremembering.”  “Really?  I could have sworn you were a total loser.”  “I don’t think so.  You might have been having a bad day.”  You see how it becomes their problem, not mine?  Whereas the case of in-print losership is fairly open-shut.  “Dude, you are such a loser.”  “What are you talking about?”  “Don’t play dumb, it’s right here in the Bio Book!”  “Doh!”

I will go to the trouble of timing my haircut appropriately so that my hair is the optimal length for attractiveness on October 3.  Also, I will probably touch up my roots a week prior so that my hair is all one color but isn’t quite as brassy as it tends to be the first couple days after coloring.  You know, a few weeks ago, when I was looking for my Clairol Perfect 10 Light Auburn at the Target, I wondered if I mightn’t be better served by going with a shade that is closer to my natural hair color–or rather, my previous natural color, the one before gray–if that wouldn’t look more attractive on me than the red, which I love but is certainly not natural in any sense of the word.  But I ended up deciding that if I really wanted the natural look, I would probably need to pay a professional to do it properly.  My philosophy has always been “If you’re going to have an obvious dye job, have an obvious dye job.”  I do too many things in my life half-way.  On this point I can’t compromise.  So middle-aged floozy fake-red it is.

I also want to get rid of the unsightly acne I picked up while I was in California.  I told Sugar Daddy to pick me up some Neutrogena Pore-Refining Facial Cleanser at the Target, but he couldn’t find it, so he got me this Garnier pore-refining cleanser instead.  I just used it this morning.  It felt like a chemical peel.  Not in a bad way.  It was just unexpected.  I’m reserving judgment until my face falls off or something.

I have to go now.


Semi-interesting post-script:  “Forever Young” was our class’s senior prom theme.  No, not the Alphaville version.  The Rod Stewart version.  Because we were that awesome.  Exactly.