…to hear all about my high school reunion.  Unfortunately, there is not much to report.  Here is a summary of events, bullet/asterisk-style:

* I did not wear pantyhose–not because they’re passe (I prefer “old-fashioned,” but to each her own) but because a) it was warm and b) I bought a new anklet, and wearing an anklet with pantyhose–or pantyhose with an anklet, for that matter–would have been both impractical and unfashionable.  Definite Glamour DON’T.

* I looked awesome.  Thanks for asking.

* It didn’t actually matter that I looked awesome because the venue where the reunion was held was very poorly-lit.  I probably could have foregone make-up altogether.

* I got a sunburn on the back of my neck earlier in the day.  I was kind of pissed about that, but I didn’t let it ruin my evening.  Especially since it wasn’t visible in the dark.

* The music was very loud.  Among the songs I got stuck in my head this weekend (and that I’m still singing three days later) include REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight This Feeling,” Guns ‘n Roses’ “Sweet Child o’ Mine,” Terence Trent D’Arby’s “Sign Your Name,” and Quiet Riot’s “Cum On Feel the Noize.”  (Actually, on reflection, I don’t know if the DJ actually played “Sign Your Name.”  I think he played “Wishing Well,” and my subconscious just prefers “Sign Your Name.”  No matter–I don’t like any of these songs when they’re stuck in my head and won’t leave.)  It was very difficult to hear anything anybody was saying, and that might have been because I’m going deaf at 38, but I also think that the music was objectively loud.  I mean, I could hear it just fine.  (Prediction:  My husband will type “What?” in the comments section.  If he doesn’t, it will be because he decided to make a joke about my age instead.  Another joke, I mean.)

* There were two people at the reunion whom I would classify as “friends.”  Everyone else fell under the category of “didn’t speak two words to during four years” and “didn’t speak to at all during four years.”  I did have some pleasant conversations with people I’d never met before.

* “Dressy casual” can mean anything, but apparently to many people it translates as “plunging necklines.”  I tell you, I am no prude when it comes to ladies’ breasts, but I thought the amount of decolletage I saw that evening was remarkable by any standard.  The good news is that everyone’s boobs looked great.  At least they did in the dark.

* I stayed three hours.  After that time, I felt that I had exhausted all the possible interactions with people I barely knew or didn’t know at all.

* It was amusing that so many people pretended to remember me, at least a little bit.  Actually, it was pretty awesome, knowing that they didn’t really remember me.  I wouldn’t want to be remembered as I really was in high school.

* Speaking of remembering, on my way out of the reunion, I was accosted by the guy whose locker was under mine for four years.  Actually, his locker was under mine for two years in middle school, as well, so we had quite a long history.  He approached me with great enthusiasm–so great that I thought maybe he actually meant it when he said, “I remember you!”  I had my friend (my real one) take a picture of us with my phone.  It was too dark to have turned out, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time.  Anyway, I think this cat was so drunk, he would have remembered me even if he’d never known me.  I figured that was the time to call it quits–before I was the only sober person left in the room.

* The food was okay.  It was an ordinary chicken dinner, but it was well-prepared.  The cheesecake was soggy, however.

* I definitely have the high school reunion out of my system.