And guess what I’m doing? I’m going to a party without my husband.
I was just listening to a talk show where they were talking about what you should talk about on a first date. The host said he’s observed that most people talk about stuff like their favorite movies and foods and junk, and he thought that wasn’t very useful for getting to know a person and whether or not you were compatible because you don’t have to have the same taste in movies or food or whatever to have a good relationship with someone. So why waste time on such trivialities instead of talking about deeper and more meaningful issues, which information will be more useful to determine the advisability of further dates?
That seemed reasonable enough to me. But then I tried to remember what my husband and I talked about on our first date, and I couldn’t for the life of me recall what kinds of things we talked about, let alone what was said. My husband might be able to remember more than I do. He doesn’t remember much, but he does remember odd things that I don’t.
I do remember that we both admitted that we were nervous. In fact, I may have said something about wanting to throw up, which I suspect is on the list of things NOT to talk about on a first date, but here I am thirteen years later, married to the dude I was going to throw up on, so what do the experts know?
We went to a movie, which is also another no-no for a first date because you don’t have the opportunity to talk to each other during a movie. Unless you’re the type of rude person who does talk during movies. See, it does afford you the opportunity to find out if the other person is a rude movie-talker, or perhaps you will discover that you’re both the type of person who likes to yell stuff at the movie screen. Perhaps you will have your own Mystery Science Theater 3000 experience and bond over that. So that just goes to show that going to the movies is not such a useless first date after all. You should also probably go to a comedy, because if the person has an annoying laugh, you’ll want to find that out sooner than later.
Sugar Daddy and I did not go to a comedy…unless you consider an Al Pacino documentary about Shakespeare’s Richard III a comedy. It does seem kind of ludicrous in retrospect. Then afterward we went to Denny’s. We must have talked at Denny’s. I just don’t remember about what. Then we had a snog on my front doorstep. Yeah, I know. Ew. Well, it got me a second date, didn’t it? (Not that I recommend this sort behavior to young ladies. I’m just saying.)
Now that I think on it, I can’t remember us really talking about anything of substance until after we were engaged. That doesn’t seem quite right, does it?
What we should have done was talk about what comic strip character we were and what person we would add to Mt. Rushmore and desired super powers. Ice breakers, you know. But we were young and foolish then. We’re old and foolish now.
What about you all? What did/do you talk about on a first date? What should people talk about on first dates?
10 comments
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November 13, 2009 at 2:13 pm
bythelbs
I don’t remember any of my first date conversations. Wait, there was that one time when a blind date was driving me home and I told him the story about our little brother using the bathroom downstairs (the one where you could hear everything that was going on in there) and how he sang the Three Amigos song and held the “Ahhhhh” note for the entire length of his pee stream before ending with “migos”. Yeah, I didn’t get a second date. I wouldn’t recommend talking about urination on a first date. I wonder whatever happened to Fernando.
November 13, 2009 at 2:29 pm
madhousewife
Maybe the lesson is that you shouldn’t talk about the Three Amigos on the first date with a guy named Fernando. (Because I’m sure the urination thing had nothing to do with it.)
November 13, 2009 at 4:38 pm
bythelbs
I considered that as I was commenting.
November 15, 2009 at 10:51 pm
foo4luv
I think he heard the drums. There was something in the air that night. The stars were bright. Then you ruined it by telling that embarrassing story about our little brother.
Personally, I think that particular story is hilarious. It’s never scared anyone away from me.
Ten points if you can name that tune and who sings it.
November 13, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Evitafjord
I have no idea. I don’t even remember what we did. We did snog (is it snogging if it’s just once? whatever) at my door at the end of the date. Whatever it was we said and did, it must have been good because I remember writing in my journal (on my laptop, that subsequently died with the journal trapped forever) that he was the man I was going to marry. I hope I didn’t write it just like that, but that is the gist of it. I had a LIST, you know, and I could check off like a ton of things, so it was meant to be. Well, it WAS meant to be, but the LIST is better at weeding out the DON’Ts than picking the DO (or the I-DO hahahahaha). In fact, that’s just why my aunt told me to make the LIST, to get rid of a different guy.
November 13, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Evitafjord
Um, I was talking about my husband, not ALL of my first dates. I don’t remember the others either.
November 13, 2009 at 2:30 pm
madhousewife
“picking the DO (or the I-DO)” 😀
I made a list, too, and it went like this:
1) Out of school
2) Has a job
3) Taller than me
List= FAIL
November 13, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Alison Wonderland
What do you mean you’re not supposed to talk about food and movies on a first date because they’re not relevant to your real compatability? I’ve been married for 11 years and I’m here to tell you that Shaun and I spend a lot more time eating and watching movies with each other than we do just about anything else.
November 14, 2009 at 9:07 am
Susan M
Daniel and I had a great first date. OK, technically, it was our second—the first he was late for, the movie I had free tickets to sucked, and the whole ting was pretty blah. I don’t really count it as our first date. The second first date was awesome. We went to the beach, where I took pictures of him, then drove to an abandoned house, where he held my hand as we walked through all the broken glass and rubbish everywhere, and then went to his favorite coffee shop, called Lala’s, but it wasn’t open, so we sat in the car and talked. About his last girlfriend and how much he missed her. OK that part wasn’t so cool.
November 15, 2009 at 10:58 pm
foo4luv
Merkin met me at my dorm, and we sat on a sofa while he read me a bedtime story: Uncle Shelby’s ABZ Book. I don’t really remember anything we talked about. I don’t even remember if I kissed him. I probably did, though. I do remember at one point we were sitting on opposite ends of the sofa, I had my legs stretched out between us, and he held my ankle. sigh.
He didn’t run when I eventually told him the Three Amigos bathroom story at a much later date. I think he figured we wouldn’t necessarily have to live near anyone in my family. 🙂