I should be grocery shopping right now, but Girlfriend is entranced with a Muppet Babies video, and so what are you gonna do?
You know, I never watched the Muppet Babies as a kid. I think it may have been a little after my time, but that’s neither here nor there. I’m going to be straight with you all: I really don’t like the Muppet Babies. I can’t honestly say that I’m giving them a fair shake because have I ever in my life sat down and watched a full episode of the Muppet Babies? No. But why is that?
Because I really don’t like them. They irritate me. Also, I am troubled by the premise of Kermit, Fozzie, Miss Piggy, Rowlf and Scooter and everybody knowing each other as babies, because that’s clearly not the back story established in the original Muppet Movie. Yes, I realize I’m not supposed to take the Muppet Movie that seriously. I also know that Kermit and Miss Piggy didn’t really get married in The Muppets Take Manhattan or whatever it was. It’s just that I prefer the grown-up muppets who met as grown-ups, and also Kermit’s baby voice makes me want to punch him in the face.
Also, it’s bad enough that they have all the muppets living together as babies in Barbara Billingsley’s nursery, but putting Statler and Waldorf in there as the kindly uncles or whoever was really just beyond the pale. Also, I hate the theme song. It’s possible that I’m dead inside, but guess what? I don’t care.
You know, that was liberating. I don’t think I’ve ever said it out loud before.
What else can I tell you? Current events continue to disappoint. I saw yesterday that Pres. Obama bowed to Emperor Akihito and now everybody’s embarrassed. You know, I’m going to be straight with you again, kids, since that whole Muppet Babies thing felt really good for me. I must say this story disturbed me, but not for the reason you’re probably thinking. Surely you must know that I have bigger fish to fry with the President than whether or not he’s bowing to the emperor of Japan. I mean, come on–Japan? Japan is harmless. No, what disturbs me is that Pres. Obama, for all his ideological flaws, has always struck me as a very smooth character, and I don’t really understand why he keeps doing stupid crap like this. Honestly, I am not saying this to criticize the President because if I wanted to criticize him, I would talk about something substantive. Also, I am not the type to kick a man while he’s down. Not a man as nice as the President, anyway. (Harry Reid I would probably kick. But I don’t know. I finally stopped kicking John Edwards, and I would never in a million years have predicted that. So maybe I’d show mercy to Sen. Reid, too, who knows? I’m getting off topic.) No, I’m honestly just confused here.
And no, I don’t mean all snarky-confused like when he says stuff that is logically impossible. I guess I’ve always thought that when you became President of the United States, it was like that montage in The Princess Diaries when Anne Hathaway learns how to pluck her eyebrows and how to wave from her royal carriage and which fork to use at a state dinner. Aren’t there, like, advisers to tell you how to act in these various situations? Or more specifically, people to tell you what NOT to do? You know, “princesses don’t cross their legs,” “Presidents of the United States don’t bow to other world leaders”? Where is Pres. Obama’s Hector Elizondo when he needs him (to tell him that you don’t give the British prime minister DVDs that won’t play on his DVD player and definitely not after you sent back the bust of Churchill, which he definitely would have stopped you from doing in the first place if he hadn’t been tangoing with Julie Andrews at the time)?
I’m not saying that Pres. Obama is like some constant embarrassment, or that he does more embarrassing things than other Presidents have done. Surely not. I mean, at least he hasn’t puked on anyone yet (unlike some Republicans we could mention…well, really only one). No, I really just had higher expectations of him, in the smoothness department. It’s not a scandal; it’s just…disappointing. I’m not embarrassed for the country–seriously? we’re America, we’ll get over it–I’m embarrassed for him, as a fellow human being. For someone who is definitely not a cowboy, he just doesn’t seem to be up on all his etiquette. One can’t be expected to know everything all at once, of course, but that was my point about Hector Elizondo. We all know our current president isn’t arrogant (unlike some, etc.) and that he isn’t too proud to take advice, so why isn’t someone taking Barack Obama under his or her wing and protecting him from these little missteps?
I’m a little concerned that someone on the inside might be trying to sabotage him. Or maybe it’s not intentional. I mean, I hope to hell he isn’t taking his cues from Vice-Pres. Biden, who, no offense to him, is kind of an idiot. (And by “kind of,” I mean “very much.”) But that seems unlikely. Despite the fact that he chose Mr. Biden as his running mate, the President seems to know that the cat is a few tines short of a fork. (I’m still a little puzzled by that whole strategy. Is it some kind of Godfather thing–surround yourself with smart people and keep the morons even closer? But I digress.)
Well, whatever. I just hope this blows over soon and we can get back to talking about the issues that really matter. ::::SNORE::::
Madhousewife would tell you her current Czar position, but she doesn’t want to be blamed for anything embarrassing the Obama administration has done lately.
EDIT: Okay, I just watched this video of Richard Nixon bowing to Chairman Mao. The bow comes at about the 1:24 mark. Leaving aside the issue of whether or not it’s appropriate for an American president to bow to a foreign leader, and also the issue of whether or not it’s appropriate for anyone to shake Chairman Mao’s hand, let alone bow to him, I have to say that Pres. Nixon’s bow’s got nothing on Pres. Obama’s bow. In fact, it looks downright awkward in comparison (but still friendly, which is what really disturbs me). Pres. Obama clearly knows how to bow, whereas his predecessors just sort of faked it. (Pres. Clinton, I understand, started to bow and then changed his mind halfway through and then later denied the whole thing, or something, but ho hum, whatever.) I take back all my previous doubts about Barack Obama’s smoothness. If I want someone bowed to, I’ll send Pres. Obama, by golly. The rest are all pretenders.
Madhousewife is the new Bowing Czar for the Obama administration.