Mister Bubby and his BFF submit their group project plan for the science fair

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Project title
How different liquids make polymer alligators grow…or not

Project description

Which liquid makes the alligator grow the fastest, the slowest and the biggest.  Will grow faster in sprite, slower in milk and bigger in oil.  We will soak the alligators in different liquids and measure them every six hours.

Why did you choose this project?  What background information did you have?
‘Cause we like blowing stuff up and this is the closest we can get.

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Mister Bubby, Man of the World

Mister Bubby:  Mom, I’m going to change my name to Mister O’Bubby.

Giraffemom:  Really?

MB:  Yes, because I’m Irish.

GM:  That’s a pretty crummy Irish accent, man.

MB:  Well, I’m really more français than Irish.  The Irish are kind of weird.  They believe in leprechauns.

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QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK!

So our Ducks are going to the Rose Bowl, thanks to their 37-33 win over arch-rival Oregon State last night.  Yesterday morning I woke up Mister Bubby, and he told me he needed his Ducks shirt because it was Ducks vs. Beavers Day.

“Where is your Ducks shirt?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he said.  “I wore it a couple days ago.”

“If you wore it a couple days ago, it’s probably still in the laundry, you goober!”

I ask you, what’s a mother to do with children like this?  Well, obviously, under these circumstances, she must dig the Ducks shirt out from under two days’ worth of laundry, find that there are mustard stains on it, break out the Tide-to-Go pen, perform a quick rinse in the bathroom sink and toss the shirt in the dryer on high and hope that it’s only slightly damp by the time school starts.  This family has its pride!  (Just not that kind of pride.)

GO DUCKS!

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Have a great weekend, suckahs!

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