It would appear that in the course of packing up all the crap on my main-level floors, I may have tossed Princess Zurg’s lunchbox into one of those cardboard boxes.  I don’t remember doing this, and indeed it seems like the sort of thing I would have thought twice about doing before doing, lunchboxes being one of those things one doesn’t want to leave languishing in a cardboard box somewhere, indefinitely.  In my defense, however, Girlfriend was helping me throw stuff into boxes yesterday, and she might have tossed PZ’s lunchbox in there, but until I get up the nerve and gumption to start unpacking the boxes–which I’m seriously considering NOT doing until Wednesday is over–I will never know.

It occurred to me that when I was PZ’s age, it was uncool to have a lunchbox.  If you brought your lunch, you used a brown bag.  This was before lunchboxes became ironic and therefore cool.  I think we are past lunchboxes being ironic and now they are just eco-responsible, which is also cool.  But I wonder if PZ would even know if lunchboxes were to become uncool again (perhaps they already have–ironically!) and whether or not she would even care.  My daughter is pretty famous for not acquiescing to other people’s notions of what’s cool.

Of course, she wants other people to think she’s cool, but she wants it to happen on her terms.  They must accept that she is cool exactly as she is, and she finds it frustrating when they don’t.

I used to want to be cool, a little bit, but it was always pretty obvious to me that I wasn’t.  At all.  Not even ironically.  Which is ironic because I was so ironic in those days!  I should have carried a lunchbox or something.  I’m trying to remember when I stopped caring about being cool and embraced my Inner Dork to the extent that I could let her be my Outer Dork, which she remains to this day.  I think I can trace the Inner/Outer Dork embrace to when I was put in a leadership position at  church in my mid-twenties and I was forced to do public speaking on a regular basis.  I was, and I remain, extremely bad at public speaking.  I never improved, despite the fact that I got lots of practice.  I had to speak in front of groups on a weekly basis, and for the first few months it was torture.  I wondered why anyone ever thought it was a good idea to have me do that.  To the extent that I believed God called me to the work, I probably thought God was being kind of a jerk about it.

Then one day I decided that I was simply a Total Dork and there was nothing I could do about it, so I may as well have fun with it.  I stopped caring about looking foolish, which was convenient, since I continued to look foolish.  I just became extremely comfortable with it.  It was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.  A gift from God, you might say, if you wanted to be all religious about it.  But you don’t have to be, that’s the beauty part.  Anyone can learn from my tale of dorkitude.  That’s dorkiness + attitude, in case you were wondering.  Actually, I just made that up.  Do you like it?  P.S.  I don’t care if you don’t!

Speaking of religion, though, I’m due to write a post for By Common Consent.  I’m supposed to post about every four weeks.  Do I post every four weeks?  No.  More like every 6-8 weeks.  Or twice in a ten week period.  It depends.  I actually did write a post recently, but I didn’t put it up because I realized it was something I’ve been wanting to say for months and it is now the opposite of timely.  You might say it would be uncool to post it now, which makes me think I should just wait a few more months and then it can be ironic.

I have a half-finished post, too, that I am too lazy to finish because it requires way more thought than I have time to devote to it, so that’s out of the running, too.  Also, there is something I am thinking of writing about, but now I’m realizing that I shouldn’t be writing blog posts when I have all this other work which should rightly be taking priority just now.  But the longer I wait, the closer it will be to Christmas, and then I’ll feel obligated to write something Christmasy.  This Mormon blogging is harder than it looks.

Actually, I knew it was going to be hard when I started it.  I wondered if I’d have that many Mormony things to write about, and as it turns out, I guess I don’t.  Is this where I embrace my Inner Not-Very-Mormonitude and start posting more interesting material on my own blog?  Unlikely, but stay tuned!

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