1.  She has beautiful, long, thick, blonde hair.  She wishes it were black.  Why does she wish it were black?  Because black hair is more goth.  She’s decided that she is goth.  In her soul, anyway.  In her hair, not so much.  It is disturbing to her.

2.  Why has she decided that she is goth?  I’m not sure.  It probably started back in the second grade, when she watched the movie Corpse Bride, but it’s really only  the last year that she’s become obsessed with macabre chic, dressing up as a dark fairy for Halloween and eschewing pastels for blacks and purples.  She was seriously offended that we gave her lip gloss for Christmas.  That is so not her (anymore)!  She is a little young, in my opinion, to go to school in black lipstick and heavy eyeliner, but that’s what she did today.  I’m still conflicted about it.

3.  Despite all the gothitude, she is still very innocent.  She only recently found out the truth about Santa Claus.  She put on a brave face, but I could tell she was somewhat devastated by this knowledge.  I could also tell that she felt betrayed because she told me she did.  (Look, I tried to tell her earlier, but she didn’t want to hear it!  Just get off my case!)

4.  For the first several years of her school career we sat in meeting after meeting where various adults would detail her failure to stay on task or engage the lesson, her constant disruptions, her penchant for kicking teachers, etc.  Now she gets a 4.0 and we sit in meetings where various adults tell us how much they love her and wish they had twenty more just like her.  That never gets old, incidentally.

5.  She is having a story published in a magazine for pre-teen girls.  It is a modern version of Cinderella, where Cinderella doesn’t marry the prince but a man who appreciates her for something other than her looks.

6.  She’s not sure that she’ll ever have kids because she thinks it’s good for mothers to stay home with their children, but she doesn’t really want to do that.  Well, she wants to, but she’s just going to be so busy with her other projects.  She’s very concerned about the rights of women and girls.  Generally, injustice annoys the crap out of her, but she has a special interest in feminism and improving the lives of women and girls around the world.  She thinks women should be free to do more than just housekeeping and taking care of children.  On the other hand, she doesn’t think mothers and housewives get the respect they deserve.

7.  Her favorite band right now is the Birthday Massacre (“even though I do not want to be massacred on my birthday”).  I know, don’t even say it.  Sugar Daddy discovered this band and introduced her to it.  I expressed some reservations about my eleven-year-old listening to anything with the word “massacre” in its name, but SD insisted they were harmless.  “They’re like Disney Goth.”  Which is true.  She has become somewhat obsessed with the lead singer, Chibi.

Yeah, all that sheltering I was doing, keeping her away from the television and the big, bad Media–I guess that’s over.

8.  She tries to act all sophisticated, but she enjoys potty humor as much as her father and younger siblings do.

9.  She wishes her school had a drama program because she fancies herself quite the actress.  Last summer we enrolled her in a drama camp where the kids staged their own production.  She was cast against type in a supporting role as the Jonas Brothers-worshiping older sister.  She stole every scene she was in, chewed up the scenery and spat it back out.  The public loved her.

10. She’s been taking piano lessons for almost a year now and is getting very good at it.  She’s also in the choir at school.

11. She doesn’t feel like she fits in anywhere.  We talked about this last night, after we had a little tiff about me ruining her life by not buying her a black wig (long story, but you can probably guess it).  She was upset and crying and saying she just wanted people to love her for who she was.  I told her there were people who loved her for who she was.  Mister Bubby, who had been hovering nearby for this conversation, said, “Yeah.  Like this person right here.”  He told her he wouldn’t like it if she was a Jonas Brothers fan.  That made her feel a little better.

12. She is twelve years old today.  TWELVE.

And now for the nostalgia portion of the program…

When I started this blog, PZ was in kindergarten.  FEELING OLD YET?  A point of trivia:  PZ is responsible for my blog’s title.  When she was three and a half, she assigned everyone in the family (and others who were close to her) animal identities.  She was a horse, naturally, because she loved horses.  Her father was a leopard.  MB was a monkey.  I was a giraffe.  She never explained why.  We just were.  It was good enough for me then, and it’s good enough for me now.

Some flashbacks from 2004:

Speaking of Zurg, she and I had an interesting ethical discussion last night.  She went fishing on her field trip yesterday and caught a fish, which she ate for dinner.  Later, when I was getting her out of the bath, she asked, “Why do you have to kill someone before you eat them?”

Giraffemom (very tired, not sure at the moment why you can’t eat someone until you’ve killed them):  That’s a good question, honey.  Why don’t you ask your father?

PZ:  No.  WHY do you have to kill someone before you eat them?  Why can’t you eat them alive?

GM:  I don’t know.

PZ:  Because they’re hard to catch!


Princess Zurg Asks about the Nature of Maternal Love

“Are you happy when I’m happy and sad when I’m sad?  Like a dog?”