Guessing game with Girlfriend

“It has one big hole and two little holes, and it’s got a lot of Thomases.”

A:  Her underpants.


As a result of all those math minutes, Elvis is now asking me to cut his sandwiches into “four equal parts.”


Princess Zurg:  Why do you have to go around singing all the time?

Madhousewife:  Why shouldn’t I sing?

PZ:  Well, at least you aren’t singing “Lass Uns Laufen” right now.  [Note:  This is PZ’s new favorite band that I’m defiling with my singing.  And no, they aren’t very “goth,” but she doesn’t care.]

Mad:  I sound AWESOME when I sing “Lass Uns Laufen,” so don’t even try to tell me otherwise.

PZ:  I’m going to make a video of you singing “Lass Uns Laufen” and put it on YouTube so everyone can hear you.  You know, Justin Bieber got his start on YouTube.

Mad:  Yeah, maybe I’ll become a famous singer and you’ll be sorry you ever insulted me.

PZ:  Well, probably people will think you sound horrible and make fun of you.

Mad:  Thanks for the support!

PZ:  Just saying.

Mad:  Right.  “No offense.”

PZ:  No offense.  [Pause]  Of course, people have horrible taste in music.

Mad:  That’s true.  I could still become a famous singer.

PZ:  Yeah, that’s true.

[Thirty seconds later]

PZ:  Um…you’re not offended, are you?


Mister Bubby, self-respecting dude

So Mister Bubby is addicted to this web site, Brain Pop, that produces these short animated educational movies on a variety of topics.  (It’s a great web site, actually.  Initially I balked at the $99/year subscription fee, but both MB and PZ use it–for fun!–and they’ve learned a lot, so I’ve decided it’s totally worth it, assuming you have $99 to spend on your kid’s edutainment.  But I digress.)  He’s been watching it this evening, and a few minutes ago he asked me, “Mom, what’s ‘period’?”

Me:  What do you mean, what’s “period”?
MB:  This movie is called “period,” and it has a picture of something I can’t tell what it is.

So I go over to the computer and see the movie “PERIOD,” and the picture is of a sanitary napkin.  MB has just recently had the birds and bees talk from his dad–but just the basics, not the comprehensive.  I explained that it was a movie about menstruation, which is something that girls do, and I said if he wanted to learn about it, I could explain it or he could watch the movie, but I warned him that he might find it gross.  He shrugged and said, “Well, I have to learn about it sometime,” and clicked on the movie.

He lasted about thirty seconds.  Which I suspect is about twenty seconds longer than a grown man could do, so I’m kind of proud of him.

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