A recent study indicates that women like men with flashy dance moves.

Study: Flamboyant male dancing attracts women best

Nick Neave, an evolutionary psychologist at Northumbria University and one of the study’s co-authors, said women may subconsciously judge how fit a man is by the fluidity of his dancing. He said their research was likely subjective and different cultures would have different measures for what constitutes good dancing.

Neave advised bad dancers to improve their core body moves.

“The movements around the head, neck and trunk were the most important,” he said. “The good dancers had lots of different movements and used them with flair and creativity.”

“[Rufus] Johnstone [a reader in the evolution of animal behavior at Cambridge University] said men who are bad dancers shouldn’t despair.

“Among animals, courtship rituals are very important when there are very obvious physical displays,” he said. “In humans, I suspect it is much more complicated and may come down to more than whether or not a man is a good dancer.”

Gee, you think?  Heh heh…ah, that’s some good stuff, science.

I can honestly say that I did not select my husband based on his dance moves.  In point of fact, I don’t think I ever saw my husband dance until we had been married at least a couple years.

Historically, I don’t think I have been attracted to flamboyant male dancing.  Usually when I see flamboyant male dancing, I either think, “Gay,” or “He probably thinks he’s something.  Hmph!”  Which probably indicates that I have flamboyant dancing envy, or something.  I’m no psychologist, but I think I know sour grapes when I see it.  I’ve always wished to be a better dancer–and due to what little training I’ve voluntarily undergone, I think I am a better dancer than I was, say, twenty years ago–but I’ve never wished for a better dance partner.  I don’t want someone who dances better than I do, or he might wake up one day and realize he can do better.  I already made the mistake of marrying someone more righteous than I am; imagine if I had compounded the error by marrying someone both more righteous and better-coordinated.  I would have absolutely no power in the relationship.

Several years ago I was talking with a friend and it came up in the conversation that my husband and I both play the piano.  She asked if there was any competition between us, and I said…actually, I don’t remember what I said.  I think it was, “Eh, not really,” because my husband and I have different musical gifts–his is more creative and mine is more technical, which might bother me if I had aspirations to be a musician, but since I don’t (anymore), it doesn’t.  By contrast, I don’t think I could be married to another writer.  I don’t have the psychological constitution to withstand all the inevitable comparisons from without and within–especially the ones from within.  I don’t think I could stand it if he was more successful than I was.  I am simply not that big a person.

I know I’ve said this before, but my husband is a very…noticeable person.  By contrast, one has to work rather hard to notice me, especially when I’m standing next to him.  It’s okay–I mean, I know I was attracted to his, shall we say, flamboyant personality.  There was a period of my life when I resented it, but I’ve matured since then and come to realize that I don’t want to compete with him and have never really wanted a competitor for a mate anyway.  Which is convenient, because I can’t compete with him.  I’m sure at least half of my maturation in life has been for the sake of convenience.  I like what works.

I think my husband would sometimes  prefer me to be more competitive.  For one thing, then I might be more inclined to play video games with him.  For another thing, I might be more jealous of his new car.  But I reckon that most of the time he is glad that we don’t feel the need to compete with one another.  Except when it comes to the children’s love, of course.

And now for the science portion of the blog post:

1.  Are you and your spouse competitive with one another?  In what way?  Is this good or bad for your relationship?

2.  Are you attracted to flamboyant male dancing?