I was using the title “Just a sandwich” as a place holder because I was thinking about sandwiches and couldn’t come up with a better title for the post, but I haven’t been able to come up with a better title, and since typing it up there, I have become somewhat attached to it, so there it stays.

This morning I was driving Mister Bubby to school, and I said, “Don’t forget to take your lunch that’s sitting right next to you.”

“I won’t!” he said, annoyed.

But a few minutes later I was pulling into my driveway, and out of the corner of my eye spied MB’s lunch, still sitting there, lonely and, yes, forgotten.

I would think that he had done it on purpose, but it seems unlikely, since the school cafeteria is serving Fiesta Turkey Taco Nads today.  Actually, it might be something else.  I wasn’t wearing my glasses when I read the lunch menu this morning.

I am becoming increasingly more blind without my glasses, just as the young eye doctor told me I would.  It makes sense; you put off getting glasses for years, straining to focus on all the fine and not-so-fine print, and then your poor eyes finally get some assistance, and it’s like, “Dude, this is so much easier–why would I ever want to work so hard again?”  It’s like when I spent all that time trying to learn to drive a stick shift, and then I finally had the opportunity to drive a car with an automatic transmission and realized that driving wasn’t nearly as difficult as I thought it was.  But still, it’s weird when I take off my glasses and everything’s so blurry for the first few seconds.

Talking of my young eye doctor, I was just thinking how my young eye doctor didn’t wear glasses himself.  Probably he doesn’t need them, being so young and all, but how do I know that?  Can you trust an optometrist who doesn’t wear glasses?  How do you know his eyesight is all it can be, that he isn’t missing something important in your eyeball-pictures because he doesn’t realize how blurry things are without his glasses, being that he doesn’t have any yet?

Would you trust an orthodontist who didn’t have perfectly straight teeth?  I was noticing that everyone who works in our orthodontist’s office has either straight teeth or braces.  Do you suppose it’s a prerequisite for working there?  It would make sense because you don’t want some employee with crooked teeth sowing doubt in your potential customers’ minds, do you?  On the other hand, is it legal for employers to discriminate against people with crooked teeth?  I should think it would be an ADA violation or something.  I guess crooked teeth isn’t really a disability, so maybe not an ADA violation.  An EOECC violation or some other violation.  Not an OHSA violation, that’s all I know.  Anyway.

I just re-examined the elementary school lunch menu, with my glasses on.  Apparently the entree in question is “Fiesta or Turkey Taco Nada,” as if that makes any more sense.  Number one, what in hell’s name is a “nada” supposed to be, anyway?  Isn’t “nada” nothing?  Are they serving nothing for lunch, or is it a taco with nothing in it?  And what’s with the “fiesta or turkey”?  It doesn’t seem to me that those are interchangeable modifiers.  So it is either a turkey taco filled with nothing, or a party taco filled with nothing.

It mattereth not, since I’ve already driven back to the school to deliver MB’s lunch.  Theoretically, it would serve him right if he had to eat turkey nothings for lunch, but in practice, I went to the trouble of making him a lunch, and he’s going to eat it, if I have anything to say about it.  And I think I do.

So Girlfriend starts preschool today, which I guess makes this the first day of the rest of my life.  Sugar Daddy and I are going to go to lunch after dropping her off, just because we can.  I don’t know what we will be eating, except that it will definitely not be turkey taco nads, or nads of any variety.  That reminds me, when SD and I were dating, we went to a Thai place in Claremont, California, that had Pork Uterus on the menu.  I was always curious what that would be like, but I was a vegetarian at the time and didn’t think it would be seemly to try it.  Not that I’ve ever thought in the intervening years, having given up the vegetarianism, that eating uterus would be seemly, exactly–but I just have to wonder.  I’ve never seen it on anyone else’s menu, so I kind of wonder if those people in Claremont were just messing with us.  They’ve closed down since then, so maybe that’s significant.  Maybe not.  I suppose we’ll never know.

I also suppose that I should take a shower while Girlfriend is still asleep and everyone else is in school.  I’ll catch you brothers and sisters on the flip side.  Ciao, babies.

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