Technically, I am on a self-imposed blogging sabbatical right now.  But I am (temporarily) breaking my blogging fast to say this one thing:  I am tired of using breast cancer as a noble excuse to be naughty.

Really, I don’t have a problem with being naughty for naughtiness’s sake, or even naughty for profit.  If you want to be naughty, by all means, be naughty.  It’s no skin off my nose.  What annoys me is random naughtiness in the name of Making A Difference.

To wit:  If you want to post pictures of your breasts on the internet, great.  I’m sure your breasts are lovely and will bring joy to many.  If you want to charge people money to look at your breasts and give the proceeds to charities that fund breast cancer research or provide free mammograms for women who can’t afford them, that’s some naughtiness I can respect, I guess.  But posting pictures of your breasts on the internet for free in order to “raise awareness” is just kind of lame.  You have my attention, but ain’t nobody’s boobies so spectacular that just looking at them makes people think, “Must. Cure. Cancer. NOW!”  Also, there just seems to be something slightly slap-in-the-face-ish to women who’ve had to get their breasts cut off to save their lives.  Not intentionally so, of course.  I don’t question anyone’s motives here.  Just the overall effect.

And then there’s this message in my Facebook inbox:

There was a game last year about what color bra you were wearing at the moment? The purpose was to increase awareness of October Breast Cancer Awareness month. It was a tremendous success and we had men wondering for days what was with the colors and it made it to the news. This year’s game has to do with your handbag/purse, where we put our handbag the moment we get home for example “I like it on the couch”, “I like it on the kitchen counter”, “I like it on the dresser” well u get the idea. Just put your answer as your status with nothing more than that and copy and paste this message into a “New Message” and forward to all your FB female friends to their inbox. The bra game made it to the news. Let’s see how powerful we women really are!!! REMEMBER – DO NOT PUT YOUR ANSWER AS A REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE- PUT IT IN YOUR STATUS!!! PASS THIS TO EVERY WOMAN YOU KNOW

Okay, I have lots of friends who played the bra game last year and are playing the handbag game this year.  I don’t think anything less of women who choose to play.  It’s whimsical, it’s fun, and it’s for a good cause.  Most people aren’t cranky like I am.  The person who sent me this e-mail is a perfectly dignified human being, and I have no doubt she sincerely cares about breast cancer awareness.  Don’t we all care?  But this just bugs me.  At least the bras had something to do with the breasts, which are getting the cancer.  Handbags don’t have anything to do with breasts.  No one keeps their breasts in a handbag.  I mean, theoretically you could keep your falsies in a handbag, I guess, and who needs falsies?  Women who’ve had mastectomies because of breast cancer–but that’s way too many steps to go through before you get to the point!  And anyway, if you needed falsies, you would not keep them in your handbag; you would keep them in your bra–but then that brings us back to the original problem, which is that we need a new way to be naughty for a noble cause, so handbags it is because who uses the handbags?  The ladies.  Who have the breasts.  Unless they’ve lost them to cancer.  Must. Cure. Cancer. NOW!

It probably wouldn’t have irked me so much if it weren’t for the line “Let’s see how powerful we women really are!”  Really?  Is this woman’s superpower, making irrelevant double-entendres on the Facebook?  Really?  Because I am so depressed now.

All of this stuff is harmless, yes, but it’s also pointless.  If you want to be naughty, be naughty.  If you want to do something about breast cancer, do your monthly self-exams, schedule your mammogram, and/or nag someone you love to do the same.  And/or donate to a charity.  Multiple choice–I have made it easy for you!  And you didn’t even have to show me your hooters.  You’re welcome.

Madhousewife is the new Breast Cancer Awareness Czar for the Obama administration.

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