Mister Bubby: Mom, as a birthday present to me, you should not sing.
Madhousewife: Hmph! Fine. That’ll be your present from me, then. I won’t sing anymore today.
MB: Well, not JUST that.
Mad: Oh, I don’t think you understand the sacrifice I’m making here.
MB: Okay, fine, you can sing. Just don’t do it too much.
This year, in lieu of a cake, MB requested that I make him that Worms in the Mud dessert. For those of you unfamiliar with Worms in the Mud–a delightful name for an edible treat–let me share the recipe with you. First you take a package of Oreo cookies and crush them up. Then you mix the crushed-up cookies with 3/4 cup of melted butter for the crust. Pause. Let that sink in. Then you blend a brick of cream cheese with a cup of confectioner’s sugar and fold in a containerful of Cool Whip. Spread that over the Oreo-butter crust, then top that with a batch of prepared chocolate pudding. Sprinkle additional crushed-up Oreos over the top. Then you take gummi worms and stick them in the pudding. Have you slipped into a diabetic coma yet? No? Well, let me just tell you that since we were inviting a bunch of people over tonight, Sugar Daddy thought one pan of Worms in the Mud would not be enough, so I had to make two pans. It’s entirely possible that our family is going to hell now. But there it is.
I had never made this particular dessert before, and I confess that I am not likely to do so again because a) it’s sickening and b) it’s kind of a pain in the neck. It seems straightforward enough on the face of it, but it’s just a big icky gooey mess. The only way I would do it again is if my adoring son, whom I love to pieces, asked me to do it. Then I would. Because he is worth it.
Unless he decides he’d rather not have me sing instead.
P.S. True confession: The grocery store where I shopped for the ingredients for this recipe did not sell packaged Gummi Worms. It only sold them in bulk. No kidding. So I thrust my sickle into the bulk gummi worm barrel and retrieved a bulk’s worth of gummi worms. Oh, no, girl, you did NOT. Oh, yes, I did.
HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY, MISTER BUBBY!