Yesterday kind of sucked.

It didn’t totally suck because I’m still an upper-middle class housewife in suburban America and no one’s dead or an alcoholic or anything, but still, not the best Monday I’ve ever had.  What was the best Monday I’ve ever had?  It probably wasn’t that great, either.

So my friend dropped her daughter off yesterday circa 8:30 a.m., and the daughter, whom I shall call…Clytemnestra…and Girlfriend frolicked together for some time until about 9:30 a.m., when Girlfriend complained to me that her ear hurt.  Oh, dear, I thought.  That’s no good.  Unfortunately, her ear just kept on hurting until I couldn’t ignore any longer that she probably had an ear infection–considering that she was sick with a cold last week–so I had to take her to the doctor, which meant I had to take both girls to the doctor.  That was an adventure.  Clytemnestra is very…outgoing.  And not at all reserved.  She’s not the type of child you take to a doctor’s office if you don’t have to, and certainly not as a tag-along.  That’s just asking for trouble.  But, you know, you do what you have to.  Or I did.

I also had to take them both to the grocery store afterward because I didn’t have any food for dinner.  That was also an adventure.  Let’s just say I now know what it would be like to have twin 4-year-old girls.  In case you were wondering, it would kind of suck.

There are certain things other kids do that my kids don’t do.  Believe me, my kids do plenty.  It’s just that you have what my kids do, and then you add on top of that the crap other kids do, and that is just too much kid-doing for me to handle.  Also, I have noticed that whenever we have other children over, EVERY SINGLE TOY we own ends up on the floor.  I mean, my kids are lazy slobs who dump their toys on the floor all the time, but for some reason other children aren’t content to dump the normal amount of toys on the floor.  They have to explore the entire house, looking for toys that haven’t seen the light of day for months, and dump all of those toys on the floor, too.  And when they’re done dumping the toys, they start dumping other things.  What’s with all the dumping?  My kids aren’t really general-interest dumpers.  Just like they weren’t general-interest mouthers.  They found other ways to be annoying.  Why can’t other kids be annoying in the ways that I am used to?  I’ve learned to live with those ways.  I don’t know.  It just goes to show that I wasn’t meant to be a day-care provider.  Because, you know, I was thinking I might go into that line of work someday.  Yeah, that wasn’t funny.  I’m sorry.

I should insert here that I find Clytemnestra generally delightful, and I’m glad that she’s not annoying in the same way that Girlfriend is annoying, because the most annoying thing GF does is refuse to talk and then get upset when I can’t read her mind.  Come to think of it, most of my kids have problems with direct communication.  That is a problem that Clytemnestra certainly doesn’t have.  I find her straightforwardness refreshing.  I just wasn’t meant to have a fifth child, that’s all.

By coincidence, yesterday was also the day that Mister Bubby decided that this house is altogether too cluttered and someone (not him) really ought to do something about it.  Also the day that Elvis decided to have a spitting renaissance.  And also the day that Princess Zurg decided she doesn’t want to ride the bus anymore because the kids are annoying and they tease her and also she has too much homework and her siblings are annoying and her friends are annoying, and by the way, her weekend was HORRIBLE, and Monday was EVEN WORSE, and HER LIFE IS TERRIBLE AND I NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT.  So at about 6:30 p.m. (or so–not like I was counting the minutes or anything), Clytemnestra’s mother came to pick her up.  That was nice.

And we’re doing it all again today!  Yay!

So the pediatrician informed me that Girlfriend does have an ear infection, and he gave me the usual spiel about how kids this age can often fight off ear infections without antibiotics, but he gave me a prescription for antibiotics anyway, which was nice because then I could ignore everything he said about not needing antibiotics.  Ha ha.  Ahhhh…just kidding.  I thought about not filling the prescription and just waiting and seeing, but then my day just turned out crappier than expected and I thought I just really needed her to be able to go back to school more than I wanted to wait and see.  So I’m (perhaps!) unnecessarily pumping antibiotics into my child for my own convenience.  I’m pretty okay with it.

What I didn’t consider when I filled the prescription was how much GF does not like to take medicine, and now I’m committed to forcing it down her throat twice a day for the next ten days.  Oh, well.

PZ had a lot of ear infections when she was younger.  She had her first one at, like, six weeks.  Maybe younger.  She had a ton of them the first two years, and about two a year after that, until she was about seven.  Fortunately, she loved amoxicillin.  Loved it.  Couldn’t get enough.  She could have been getting half of those ear infections on purpose, for all I know.

Anyway, I took PZ to the doctor once and it was not our usual pediatrician, and he gave me the spiel about how ear infections sometimes go away on their own, so technically I didn’t need to give her antibiotics, and I said, “Well, okay.  Shall I give her Tylenol for the pain?”  And he said, “Well, if she’s in pain, we may as well treat her with antibiotics.”  To which I wanted to say, “AAAUUUUUGHHHHHHH!  WHY DID I COME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, IF SHE WASN’T IN PAIN???  HOW DID I EVEN KNOW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG, IF SHE WASN’T IN PAIN???  DO I JUST RANDOMLY TAKE MY CHILD TO THE DOCTOR AND HAVE HIM CHECK HER EARS ON THE OFF-CHANCE THAT THERE MIGHT BE AN EAR INFECTION BECAUSE I’M JUST BORED???  HOW EMPTY DO YOU THINK MY LIFE IS???”  But instead I just said, “Okay, then.”  That was probably the better choice.  Sometimes I do make it.

Speaking of doctors and advice and crap, my psychiatrist got my blood work back, and just so you know, my liver is good, my kidneys are good, my cholesterol is good–verrah good–but my iron is very low.  So I should be taking an iron supplement.  I wonder if I will.  The thing is, you’re not supposed to take iron with other medications, especially not Synthroid, which is one of mine, and so, because I cannot take it when I take my other medications, I usually end up forgetting to take it.  Which, I guess, is one reason why my iron might tend to be low.  I did give blood last month, though, so it must occasionally be okay.

What was I saying this for?  Oh, I was just thinking how when you’re anemic and your doctor tells you to take an iron supplement and also gives you a list of iron-rich foods to incorporate into your diet, and the first thing on the list is always Blackstrap Molasses.  And no, not because the list is alphabetical.  Even when the doctor is just telling you off the top of his or her head, Blackstrap Molasses is always at the top of the list.  Because who doesn’t find it the world’s easiest thing to incorporate mass quantities of iron-rich Blackstrap Molasses into their diet?  Who doesn’t just eat that stuff by the spoonful?

This post is badly in need of editing, but I won’t do it because I’m tired.  Instead I will close with the Misread Bumper Sticker of the Day:  “God is HOT, a Republican.”

Thank you very much, I’ll be here all week.