My first realistic goal for 2011 is to eat better in January than I did in December. Shouldn’t be too difficult, once all the fudge is finally gone.
On second thought, maybe that goal should read “eat better in February than I did in December or January.”
This morning I was singing, and Princess Zurg, as usual, was complaining about my singing. She actually said, “I thought you were going to resolve not to sing so much anymore.”
“Why on earth would I make a resolution like that?” I asked. “I’d have to break it every day of my life.”
“Well, maybe you could sing less around me.”
“I think I resolve to sing more, especially around you. That’s a resolution I can keep.”
So there’s my second realistic goal for 2011. Yell less, sing more. The singing is the key, gentle readers. If I merely resolved to yell less, I would inevitably find myself wanting to yell more. But if I replace yelling with singing, I can annoy my children just as much and wield far more influence over them. I once got Mister Bubby to clean his room by singing “Beat It” on continuous loop until he just couldn’t stand it anymore. Didn’t cost me a thing.
I just need to fashion myself a proper repertoire.
I’m on a roll here.
My Realistic Goals for 2011
1. Eat better in February than I did in January or December.
2. Yell less, sing more.
3. Finish reading one of the books I started reading in 2010.
4. Socialize with real people in real life, say, once a quarter.
And one slightly-unrealistic goal, just to keep me humble:
5. Write more often than I floss.
These are the goals I will hold myself accountable for this year. All of my other accomplishments will be gravy. All of my other failures will be…well, they might be gravy, too. I’ve never really understood that expression.
Suggestions for comments:
What are your realistic goals? What songs do you think I should sing this year?