I will still love you even if you lose today. Know that I will always love you. But also know that you will be breaking my son’s heart. That’s all.
X’s and O’s,
Ordinarily I don’t feel that invested in college football, but this is Oregon’s first national championship. I should be thrilled just that we’ve made it this far, and intellectually I know that there’s no shame in losing the national championship, because all it means is that we’re the second-best in the nation instead of the first, but by golly, I’m an Oregonian, and we have issues. We’ve never been #1 in anything (except unemployment…and that there might be some shame in…I dunno, it’s kind of hard to tell). Anyway, the point is that no one takes us seriously. Who cares about Oregon except Oregonians? No one, that’s who. Everyone misunderestimates us. They can’t even say our name right.
Maybe if we win the national championship, all of that will change. Just kidding. Ha ha, no, obviously not all of it, but you know, maybe some of it. Maybe we’ll finally get a little respect. Maybe people will finally stop calling us Ore-GONE. I don’t expect much. I just want to bask in the reflective glow of my Ducks’ greatness for a while longer.
I’m even wearing green and yellow socks today. Sure, they have a little purple stripe in there, but that doesn’t make them Mardi Gras socks. It just means, I dunno, they’re a little gay. I’m wearing game socks with a little gay luck thrown in. (It can’t hurt.)
I didn’t get enough sleep last night.
(You think I’m kidding? I’m not.)