So this morning I had all of my premolars pulled–or, as my dentist so delicately put it, “gently persuaded” (to come out). They gave me some nitrous oxide, along with the Novocaine. I have this much to say about nitrous oxide: Yes, please. Also: Please, more. I could have laid in that chair all day getting teeth gently persuaded. It was that awesome. Fortunately, my dentist only extracted the teeth my orthodontist asked him to extract. And I went home, comfortably numb. And drooling.

I showed the extracted teeth to my husband, who showed them to Elvis, who seemed genuinely grossed out. I will not be posting pictures.

My mouth still tastes like blood. I can take more ibuprofen in about…24 minutes. I look forward to that.

The good thing about getting my teeth pulled on Presidents Day: My husband was off work, so he could drive me to and from the dentist. The bad thing about getting my teeth pulled on Presidents Day: All the kids are off school, and they’re driving us crazy.

I was instructed to take it easy today. I’m trying to walk that fine line between taking it easy and appearing lazy. The appearance of laziness is not well-received in this household. I don’t think I am succeeding. Walking the fine line, I mean. I suppose I should just give up walking and go ahead and be lazy, as tomorrow laziness will not be permitted, nor will it be possible. (The housekeepers come on Wednesday.)

In other news, I’m pondering a career change. Not immediately, as I have another year and a half until my youngest is in school full-time. But these things require careful planning. And research. Right now I am researching jobs that don’t require me to interact with other people. The pickings are slimmer than you might imagine. I am definitely going to need to go back to school and major in whatever thing I should have majored in the first time if I wanted to live a life of usefulness and social isolation. I don’t even know yet if that major exists. But if it does, I will find it. This time my premolars will not be holding me back.