Unfortunately.  And I know I promised you “after” pictures, but you know what?  I’m a liar.  Here’s what happened this week:

I spent Monday dealing with the crap I took pictures of and posted on Monday.  I spent Tuesday alternately dealing with said crap and thinking seriously about running away from home and refusing to come back until after someone else had dealt with the crap.  Then Wednesday came.  Somewhere around 9 a.m., probably, I had dealt with as much of the crap as I was going to, and I patiently waited for the housekeepers to show up.  Since it was past 8:30, I figured I had a long wait ahead of me.  I had woken up with a sore throat and an earache, and I had taken some ibuprofen but neglected to eat breakfast, which is not a good combo, so around lunchtime I was feeling pretty crappy.  Realizing that I had taken ibuprofen on an empty stomach–never a good idea, incidentally–I thought that eating lunch would solve the biggest part of my problem.  So Girlfriend and I went to lunch at the Burger King because eating lunch at the Burger King prevented us from untidying the kitchen that I’d worked so hard to tidy for the housekeepers’ benefit, me still having no idea when said housekeepers were going to show.

Eating lunch did not solve my problem.  It didn’t make my problem worse, but I didn’t feel any better.  So after I dropped Girlfriend off at school, I came home and slept on the couch until the housekeepers arrived, at about 2 p.m., at which time I went to read a book outside of Mister Bubby’s school until such time as his school dismissed him.  I still felt not-so-great.  But blah blah the details are boring.  I went to my tap class that night, but only because it is a recital term and if you miss a class during recital term–well, let’s just say it’s regrettable.  I still didn’t feel well afterward–interestingly enough–but I didn’t go straight home because if I had gone straight home at that time, I would have been roped into tucking all the children into bed, which always takes more time when Mom does it, for reasons I don’t fully understand except that maybe I’m a pushover.  So I stayed at the Moonstruck Chocolate Cafe, sipping hot chocolate, which didn’t hurt my stomach, and writing crap that gets you rejected from MFA programs, until such time that I was certain everyone would be in bed.  Then I went home and went to bed myself.  Do not pass Go.  Do not collect $200.

Thursday is a blur.  I got up to feed kids breakfast and pack lunches, but I only stayed up long enough to do those things because my capacity for vertical-oriented activity was limited.  Mostly I was on the couch, in a horizontal orientation.  At 7:45 a.m. my husband informed me that Elvis had gotten on the bus and he was taking Mister Bubby to school.  At 8:30 a.m. Princess Zurg informed me that she was going to meet her bus.  Girlfriend was still not awake.  At about 11:40 a.m. I woke to the sound of the phone ringing.  It was my husband, informing me that he was coming home to get Girlfriend ready to go to school.  I had no idea where Girlfriend was.  I went to look for her.  She was in the living room.  She appeared to be safe.  What she was doing between the hours of 8:30 and 11:40 a.m. remain a mystery.  I felt a little guilty about that.  Until I went back to sleep.

At 3:15 p.m. I woke myself up and got dressed so I could meet Elvis’s bus.  At 3:25 p.m. I met his bus and let him in the house.  I went back to my couch.  No, actually, I went to a different couch, but that’s neither here nor there.  At 3:30 p.m. our nanny, Gertrude, showed up to take Elvis to speech therapy, since Sugar Daddy had to take Girlfriend to kindergarten orientation.  I went back to sleep.  I don’t remember anything else that happened on Thursday, even though it was not that long ago.

I feel better today.  The house is not yet a disaster, but it has suffered a little from my neglect.  I’m behind on the laundry, especially the towels.  This family and towels, I tell you–I have no idea what they’re doing with them.  It makes me a little crazy.  I don’t feel 100 percent, but I don’t feel lousy.  I feel like doing some laundry.  I don’t feel like taking pictures of my less-than-optimal “after” house.

This morning my mother-in-law arrived because Elvis is getting baptized tomorrow.  Around lunchtime Gertrude showed up to take Elvis and Princess Zurg out to lunch to celebrate their birthdays, because Gertrude is a gem.  I seem to recall her saying on Thursday that she was planning to come by today and take them out to lunch and something to the effect that it might give me something of a break.  At the time I thought, “Well, their grandmother is going to be here to give me a break, but whatever, I want to go back to sleep now, goodbye.”  So anyway, she came and picked them up, leaving a very jealous Mister Bubby, whom Grandma decided to pacify by saying she would take everyone out to lunch, but Mister Bubby wanted pho because Mister Bubby always wants pho, but Girlfriend doesn’t like pho, so taking Girlfriend out to pho would be an exercise in frustration and possibly a waste of money.  So Grandma took Mister Bubby out for pho, and Girlfriend stayed here with me, who made her macaroni and cheese from a box.

I have not eaten lunch because I do not enjoy macaroni and cheese from a box, and also I am just still not feeling that great.  I feel good enough to eat something, but what that something might be, I just don’t know.

I had some crazy dreams while I was sick, and I even thought to myself at the time, “This would make for one crazy dream-based blog.”  But unfortunately–or fortunately, for you–I do not remember any of them.  I am even trying to remember, and I just…can’t.  It’s very frustrating, actually, because they would have been the most entertaining portion of this post.  But you will just have to settle for less.  As usual.

Who cares, though?  It’s Friday, and no one’s on the internet anyway.  Except for me.

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