But my life is no longer my own.  Sugar Daddy’s sabbatical started May 28, and he has filled my life with so much stuff that there is no room for internet shenanigans.  I haven’t even been updating my Facebook, gentle readers!  That is how busy I am.

The first few days were all closet-cleaning and dental appointments.  Then, on June 2 we went out for dinner to celebrate our anniversary, which was May 22, but the week of May 22 was too busy to celebrate our anniversary, so we had to put it off, hence–June 2.  Anyway.  We went to dinner at fancy restaurant, and then he surprised me with the entertaining factoid that he’d booked us a room at the fancy hotel that the fancy restaurant was attached to.  According to their literature, every President of the United States since William Taft has stayed there.  Including Pres. Obama?  Well, I would assume so, unless this was outdated literature I was reading.  I bet they got the Presidential Suite, though.  We stayed in the Executive Junior Suite, or something like that.  Which was fancy enough for my tastes.  The Presidential Suite has a dining room that seats six, and I would just soon as not have a 6-person dining room as part of my romantic evening away from home.  I might feel obligated to invite people.  This paragraph is headed toward a weird place.  I think I’ll move on.

Apparently SD had been planning this evening for quite some time and had even told the older kids about it, but I suspected nothing because my husband is a big fat liar and he told me all manner of misleading lies throughout the preceding weeks in order to throw me off the trail.  All the lying was perhaps not necessary, as I am naturally an incurious person.  This is probably another reason why the lies worked, but again, they were pretty good lies.  I’m not used to SD lying to me in earnest.  Usually he tells me lies to set up some elaborate joke.  He tells ridiculous lies to the children, and they’re always asking me if the ridiculous thing he just said is actually true.  “Are his lips moving?” I ask.  That is the state of trust we have in the Madhousehold.  But all of these lies were reasonable lies, which is why I fell for them.  Even the one that seemed a little bit weird at the time I fell for because we were on the phone and in a hurry and so I just went with it.  It was very nice to have a surprise.  I don’t get surprised often.  Not pleasantly, anyway.

Then we came back home the next morning and started cleaning closets again.  Just kidding.  (Sort of.)

SD’s birthday was last Saturday.  He asked me if I wrote 36 nice things about him on my blog.  I said I might have, if he’d let me stop cleaning closets for five minutes.  Ha ha, kidding again.  I was just lazy.  I feel kind of guilty now, so I should probably write a belated birthday blog for him, but I’m kind of too tired to think of 36 things, and I think you all might get sick of reading around number 17, so maybe I’ll just write 36 nice words about him.

SD’s belated birthday blog message

Sugar Daddy is the man I love because he only lies to make me happy and he doesn’t make me clean out closets too often.  He amuses me.  He cooks well.  I’d say more, but…word limit.

[Everybody sigh at the romance of it all–*SIGH*]

I baked him a Coca-Cola cake, which was delicious.  But I forgot to put it in the fridge, so the ants ate it.  Well, they didn’t so much eat it as crawl all over it, but either way, the cake was lost.  It was a tragedy.  But since I’m the only one in the family willing to eat day-old baked goods, it’s probably a good thing that I was left without options.

Today I took Girlfriend to the dentist to get her first filling (for her first cavity, which was discovered at the last dental appointment.  They put her on the nitrous oxide.  There are few things I enjoy more than watching my kids get high at the dentist.  One of them is nitrous oxide.  But I digress.

On Friday I have to take Elvis to the dentist to get his first fillings–first four fillings, for his first four cavities, which were also discovered last week.  He’s going to be sedated.  That’s another thing I’m going to be interested to see.  Once I might have said I’d pay cash money for such a thing, but…actually, I am going to pay cash money for it.  Lots of cash.  (Don’t worry, the insurance covers most of it.  The majority, anyway.)  Anyway, he’s going to be more or less out of commission the whole day, which is something I haven’t seen since the last time he had the stomach flu.  Should be interesting.

Actually, it makes me very sad to think about my son having four cavities.  Our dentist has these photo albums in his waiting room that are filled with pictures of his trips to Guatemala and Samoa, where he provides dental care to folks in these remote villages.  Most of them are nice pictures, but some of them are before and after pictures.  You don’t really want to see a before picture of a mouth that has never received dental care.  I show them to my kids and tell them how lucky they are.  Then I hear my kid has four cavities and I think, “Augh!  My child has a third-world mouth!”  But no, it’s not that bad.  We’re very lucky to live in an affluent society and be relatively affluent ourselves.  My eight-year-old is getting sedation dentistry!  I don’t want to think about what those poor kids in Guatemala and Samoa endured between the before and after shots.  ::shudder::

Have you hugged your dental hygienist today?

Well, I have lots of work to do.  SD is in California this week, helping his mother prepare to put her house on the market so she can hopefully sell it and move up here.  I forgot to mention it, but that’s why I have time to blog.  If he were still here, you can bet your bottom dollar I’d be cleaning closets right now!  But no, I’m just messing around on the internet when I ought to be loading the dishwasher, doing the laundry and putting children in bathtubs.  Better get back to that.  I’ll try to blog again tomorrow, but I’m not promising anything.  A massive closet-cleaning urge might sweep over me!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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