Not that random crap isn’t appropriate for every day around here, but today is Tuesday.

I don’t really have anything to say today, but I’m putting off cleaning the house.  Or, rather, I am putting off continuing to clean the house.  It’s not like I haven’t started yet.  I’ve started, I just haven’t…continued very much.

I got up yesterday morning because Elvis wanted me to help him make breakfast.  After breakfast I tried to go back to bed, but the guilt wouldn’t let me sleep.  The guilt didn’t push me to get much work done around the house, though.  The guilt is really letting me down lately.  It’s like…I can feel it, right, but it just doesn’t have the same spurring action it used to.  You know what I mean?  What can I do about this?  If the guilt isn’t going to help me accomplish anything, I may have to get it surgically removed.  Do you know anyone who does that?

This morning Elvis woke me up by shouting, “I want to go to the park!”  I didn’t immediately jump out of bed to take him to the park, so then he shouted, “I’m ready to go to the park now!”  I mumbled something, whatever, and then he was gone and I rolled over to see what time it was and it was after 9:00.  At this point of the narrative, I have the option of telling you the long version or the short version.  The long version is really long, longer than it is really worth getting into.  But the short version doesn’t really provide enough context for the events of this morning.  But the long version is really long, way longer than I want to tell, so…suffice it to say that I had someone coming over at 9:30 a.m. and I didn’t have time to shower, so I just threw on my clothes and went downstairs and found out that both Elvis and Girlfriend had gone down  to the park by themselves.

Now, the park isn’t far from our house.  It is probably, I dunno, half a block.  Fifty paces.  Whatever.  It’s very close, which is why my five-year-old thinks it’s no big deal to just run after her eight-year-old brother who has taken off there on his bike.  I started to go into the long version again.  I have to resist that impulse, because it’s just not worth it.  Suffice it to say that as I was headed down to the park, my 9:30 engagement arrived and I had to explain to her that I needed to go fetch my children, or at least my five-year-old who was on foot and blah blah blah we rescheduled for later blah blah…I went down to the park and Girlfriend said she wanted to go home and get her bike so she could ride her bike, too.

Well, okay, why not?  So we went and got her bike and she started to ride it, but I noticed the tire was kind of flat.  A lady walks by with her dog while we’re messing with her bike.  I go to the garage and get the bicycle pump, even though I’m pretty sure the tire probably has a leak and pumping it isn’t going to help, but I’m tired and I have to pretend and blah blah we’re pretending to fix the tire now.  The lady with the dog comes back.  She asks me if my daughter was down at the park earlier.  I said, yes, she followed her brother down there.  The lady said, “Well, she was just walking around by herself.”  I said, “Yes, I know, her brother was on his bike and she ran after him, but she couldn’t keep up with him.”  The lady said, “Well, I just wanted to make sure she made it home safely.”  I said, “Well, yes, she’s here right now.”  In fact, she’s standing right next to me.  The lady seemed to accept that, or at least she accepted that I wasn’t going to offer to let her do a physical exam to rule out any injury or trauma, and she and her dog left.  The tire was still flat.  Girlfriend decided she would ride her scooter instead.

So we went to the park, and at some point Elvis decided to grace us with his presence again, and we spent some time picking blackberries because there are some blackberry bushes at the park.  We picked all the accessible ripe berries.  In the next couple weeks someone who is better equipped than we were will pick all the bushes clean.  Blackberry bushes really don’t encourage you to pick their fruit.  I don’t know what the evolutionary purpose of all those thorns is, unless God just didn’t intend for anyone but animals with really tough hides to eat blackberries.  So maybe it is unnatural for us to enjoy blackberries as much as we do.  It’s hard to say.  It’s even harder to pick the blackberries.  But I digress.

I won’t tell you any more about the park because it is boring, but I don’t really have anything else to tell you.  Except for the following random things:

* There was an ad on my Facebook sidebar for “Friends of Israel,” but the picture that went with it was of Jesus being crucified.  That just didn’t seem…appropriate, somehow.

* There was also an ad for “The Campaign To Defeat Barack Obama,” and the picture was of Pres. Obama looking very defeated indeed.  It kind of made me feel sorry for him, so I didn’t click on that link either.

* Haven’t done a Wacky Search Terms post in a while, but that’s because there haven’t been any wacky searches leading to my blog lately.  The most interesting in the past week were “me pregnant naked blog” and “i want to sex wrestle a girl”–both of which were less interesting than, well, disturbing.  Also interesting was “schindler’s list into a musical.”  I thought for sure that was my husband’s original idea.  It had better not show up on Broadway one of these days!

Well, that’s it for today’s random crap.  Join me next time for some more random crap.  Happy Tuesday, amigos!