I have decided to devote today to catching up on the laundry.  I have about eight loads of laundry slated for today.  I’m on load #1 right now.  This whole endeavor is going to take 8-9 hours.  That’s the trouble with having only one washer.  I like my new front-loading, high-efficiency washer.  I haven’t had any problems with it (yet).  But it does take 58 minutes to wash a load of clothes.  That seems crazy.  At least the new dryer is very fast at drying, so the freshly-washed clothes can go directly into drying mode.  My old washer washed clothes in about 25 minutes, but the old dryer took about 2 hours to dry clothes, so that was extra-inefficient.  Wow, this paragraph is making me fall asleep.  How are you all doing?

Anyway, I have decided to devote today to the laundry.  Often I intend to catch up on the laundry but get distracted by other things and end up doing only one load, maybe two if I’m really on the ball.  After all, I have to wait around 58 minutes for the clothes to finish washing.  What am I supposed to do, stand there and stare at the washing machine for 58 minutes?  The washing machine has a little alarm that goes off when the laundry is finished–it plays a little song, which is a nice touch.  But the washing machine makes a lot of little song-sounds, and I’ve learned to ignore them.  So the alarm isn’t helping me remember to put in the next load of laundry.  It just gets ignored, along with the rest of my family.  That makes it sound like I consider the washing machine a part of my family.  Well, it may as well be.  The only member of the family that earns its keep around here!  (Except for my husband, who has a job.  I haven’t forgotten that.)

So I have decided not to do any other chores today, just so I can focus on listening to the laundry alarm and getting my laundry washed in the most efficient manner.  Isn’t that smart of me?  It’s only a pleasant coincidence that it also allows me to be as lazy as I want to be.

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Did you notice that little lull in the post?  That was me noticing that the washer had gone off and remembering to put in the next load of laundry.  I just bleached my husband’s grilling apron.  Is that silly?  No sillier than having a white grilling apron in the first place, I reckon.

Grilling aprons are funny.  They have to be all masculine because they’re for men (because a grilling apron for women would just be an apron).  They all say something like “Master of the Grill” or “Keeper of the Flame” or “Grill Sergeant.”  I don’t remember what SD’s says.  It’s in the washer now, so I can’t check.  It isn’t anything special, or I would remember.  It might just have some random company logo on it.  For a writer I can be an extremely unobservant person.

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No, that wasn’t me putting in another load of laundry.  I just wanted to change the subject.  School starts September 6.  And not a minute too soon.  Well, technically school starts September 6 for Elvis and Mister Bubby.  Girlfriend and Princess Zurg start on September 7.  Why is this?  Well.  Girlfriend is starting kindergarten, and they always have half the kindergarteners start on the first day and the other half start on the second day.  (Kindergarteners who went the first day stay home on the second day.)  Then they all go together on the third day.  The rationale is so there will be fewer confused kindergarteners and confused parents milling about and it won’t be totally overwhelming for everyone.  Historically, kindergarteners with last names beginning with A-L (or something) went the first day and kindergarteners with last names beginning with M-Z went the second day.  But this year they’re having AM kindergarteners go the first day and PM kindergarteners go the second day.  So there will be a full class of kindergarteners starting on the first day, and a full class of kindergarteners starting on the second day, rather than just half of each class starting on each day.  So technically we are keeping up a time-honored tradition, only now there is, apparently, no rationale for it.  Not one that I can discern, anyway.  If one of you can help me sort out the logic here, I’d appreciate it.

As for PZ, the middle school has decided that this year, for the first time, they will have only sixth graders start on the first day of school.  I guess that makes enough sense.  It just means Summer With PZ is one day longer this year.  I don’t feel that is strictly necessary, but I may as well enjoy it, mayn’t I?

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Speaking of PZ (I’m still on my second load of laundry, just so you know), I need to take her shopping so she can get herself a cool outfit for when she goes to see My Chemical Romance next week.  I don’t like shopping with PZ because she always has a specific vision in mind when she goes shopping, and the mercantile reality never lines up with her vision.  She’s kind of like me that way, only instead of shrugging her shoulders and making do with her current wardrobe for another year, she has to start moaning and whining and railing against the system that is keeping her from realizing her fashion ambitions.  And she doesn’t stop.  She just keeps going and going and going until I think I must have died and gone to hell, or else I’m surely going to die and go there because I will freaking kill her if she doesn’t shut up soon.  My husband handles most of the PZ shopping, in case you were wondering.  That is probably the only reason she is still alive.

SD is also going to the concert with her.  I have this recurring nightmare that he gets called out of town on business and I have to take her myself.  If I type that out loud, is it bad luck?

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Well, there’s 1,000+ words on nothing.  I’d better get back to watching the washing machine.  Gentle readers, adieu.

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