Last night I remembered to take a Valium before I went to sleep, and I dreamed that I was at a Pearl Jam concert with my mother-in-law. I don’t know why I would dream about Pearl Jam because I’m not really a Pearl Jam fan. Nor is my MIL, as far as I know. But in the dream, I think, I was there because she’d bought the tickets, thinking I’d enjoy it.
Anyway, there we were at the Pearl Jam concert, and there weren’t as many people there as you might expect for a Pearl Jam concert. The crowd seemed to be skewing awfully young, too. I mean, do the kids still listen to Pearl Jam these days? I wouldn’t know. That’s neither here nor there. The weird thing was that there were about, I dunno, maybe eight guys on stage, and only a couple of them had instruments. They all took turns singing, and I didn’t recognize any of the songs–which didn’t strike me as all that strange, given my lack of knowledge about anything Pearl Jam may have recorded since…that brown album. I do remember wondering which one of them was Eddie Vedder. In retrospect, I don’t think any of them was.
So at one point they start handing out these tie-dyed jumpsuits with sequins on them–not a ton of sequins, mind you, but just a smattering, which, as everyone knows, is the worst possible option–and I remember thinking, “That is an odd choice for Pearl Jam.” Not that I would know anything about what Pearl Jam was up to these days–I mean, I didn’t even know they had eight members, all of whom, apparently, sang–and what happened to their drummer? But I digress.
They were handing out the under-bespangled jumpsuits, and then they were doing free makeovers as part of the show. And my mother-in-law was encouraging me to go up and get my free makeover, since I already had the jumpsuit, and I was demurring because I really don’t like drawing attention to myself. And she was like, “I paid for these tickets, and you’re getting your makeover.” So I reluctantly went to get my free makeover, and the last thing I remember before awaking was thinking, “I am NOT letting them touch my hair.”
What do you think it means, gentle readers?
We are going to remodel our kitchen soon. Not so much remodel as give it a…makeover. We are refacing the cabinets and putting in a new counter top. Eventually we will replace the flooring, but maybe not this year. When the counter top goes in, we will be without use of our kitchen for two weeks. While they’re doing the cabinets, that’ll be another week. That seems like a long time to be without a kitchen.
Which reminds me, my mother-in-law is moving up here. She bought a house in a neighboring neighborhood, and she takes possession thereof on November 1. Possibly sooner–it’s kind of a long story, but just take me at my word. In theory, we can stay at her house while the kitchen is having its makeover. I don’t know how that’s going to work, exactly. But I guess it will.
I still don’t know where the jumpsuits fit in.