However, it is somewhat fitting that I would forget to blog on Mister Bubby’s birthday. He’s always gotten the short end of the stick. But this is the second time that I have failed to post a birthday blog on one of my kids’ birthdays. The first time was when Elvis turned seven while I was in Japan. I was too busy and away from the internet to post anything birthday-related. At the time it hurt me deeply. I may not be a perfect mother, I may not be a perfect blogger, but I always post on my kids’ birthdays. Except for that one year when I didn’t. And also this year, when I didn’t again.
Wait…is this the third time? It might be the third time. I honestly don’t want to think too hard about this. And I definitely don’t want to do any research. You all don’t really care if it’s the second or third time, do you? You don’t even care if I miss my kid’s birthday in the first place. For the record, I didn’t actually miss anyone’s actual birthday. (Except Elvis’s, when I was in Japan. But we celebrated it the week before, and we have video-cammed or something at some point on the correct date. I don’t remember. I don’t feel guilty!) I only missed blogging about it, even though I thought to myself earlier in the day, “I must remember to post a little thing about Mister Bubby’s birthday before I go to bed tonight.”
For the record, thinking to myself, “I must remember to do x” pretty much guarantees that I will forget x. But I don’t know what I can do about it.
In any case, it is not too late to celebrate Mister Bubby’s birthday, because it’s never too late to celebrate Mister Bubby. Maybe it’s too late to celebrate some other stupid kid’s birthday, but one of my kids? No. Never.
Here are some fun facts about Mister Bubby:
1. He just started learning algebra. At his father’s insistence, but he’s willing. He likes math. He ran into a problem he couldn’t figure out the other day, but it turned out that the book was wrong. That’s our boy.
2. Lately, when I get on his case for something, he’s taken to saying, melodramatically, “I’m sorry, Mommy! I’m a horrible son!” Of course, he only does this when I’m getting on his case mildly. When I’m getting on his case hardcore, he pulls out his typical-adolescent “I know I know I KNOW!”
3. This year he is riding his bike to and from school, which is about the awesomest thing that has ever happened to me, since he is the only one among my children who doesn’t get any busing. (Girlfriend only gets kindergarten mid-day busing, so I have to pick her up at the end of the day, which means I am going to school to pick up only one of my two children who go there, while MB rides his bike home, but whatever.) He loves the independence. He rides rain or shine, which makes him a true Oregonian.
4. He is obsessed with Man v. Food, and he dreams of competing in food challenges when he gets old enough. Last night at the cub scout pack meeting, he participated in a “bobbing for donuts” game, where they strung these donuts on a clothesline and you had to eat the donut off of the line and be the first to finish it. (Yeah, it’s a great activity for encouraging children to shove their food down their throats faster than they can swallow it. Because pre-teen boys sometimes have trouble developing that skill.) The first time, he came in second. The next three times, he came in first. Then I made him quit.
5. He’s not actually in cub scouts anymore. (We were at the pack meeting for Elvis.) He “graduated” last month. He finished his Webolos badge and got his Arrow of Light. (I’m just assuming he deserved both of them. I have as little to do with cub scouts as possible.) This was his last year of cub scout camp, where he very much enjoyed the archery and BB gun shooting. He enjoyed archery so much that we signed him up for an archery mini-camp later in the summer. (Princess Zurg also went.) He did well, but not well enough that he started asking for his own bow and arrow.
6. He hates piano lessons, but he refuses to quit because his BFF also takes piano lessons, and he wants to keep up with him. He does wish I’d switch him to his BFF’s teacher. Also, that he only had to take lessons every other week. Also, that he never had to practice. Well, he never does practice. I don’t know how he expects to keep up with the BFF that way, but there it is.
7. He still needs to be tucked in every night. He requires ten regular hugs and 100 “toe hugs.” It’s a long story, but I’ll tell you anyway. It started back when he was six years old and wanted to be hugged goodnight, but he was hiding under his blanket or something, so I squeezed his toes and said, “I’ll just hug your toes, then.” (Man, that’s some cheesy crap. He’d be humiliated if I said this in public. Good thing this is just the internet.) He decided he liked that better, so for a long time it was just toe hugs, but then he missed regular hugs, so now it’s both. The toe hugs have gotten quite rapid and perfunctory, but it’s still a less time-consuming bedtime ritual than all the other children have, so I don’t mind it. Plus, he’s getting old. How much longer will he admit to liking this corny routine?
8. He loves to read. I always assumed I’d have a daughter who loved to read, and I’d give her all the books I loved to read when I was a girl. So far Mister Bubby has shown zero interest in Little Women. (He did read some of Little House in the Big Woods when he was in the third grade, after he finished all the Harry Potter books. But it didn’t hold his interest, so he had to move on. Actually, I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t find LHitBW all that riveting, either. I know, I’m a disgrace, I’m not fit to wear the uniform, etc.) Right now he is reading the Hunger Games series. But he reads a crapload of books. I can’t keep up with everything he’s into. He’s still really annoyed that I got a Kindle because now he can’t buy me books for Christmas. Well, he could, but it wouldn’t be the same. That makes me kind of sad, too. (I told him he could still buy me real books if he wanted to, but that might not be the same, either. I don’t know.)
9. He’s not sure if his favorite food is pho or buffalo wings. It depends on what day it is. We took him to Fire on the Mountain for his birthday. His favorite were the raspberry-habanero wings. He’s still a big fat food snob.
10. When I started this blog, he was three. Since then, he has grown from the sweetest little boy on earth to one of the biggest turkeys I’ve ever met. A big turkey who is still occasionally the sweetest boy on earth.
11. He turned eleven years old on Saturday, October 22, not today. ELEVEN.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, MISTER BUBBY!