Help me, internets

So my iPod is officially dead. Dead as a doornail. What does that mean, anyway? Is anything deader than a doornail? Is a doornail deader than other things that aren’t alive? Gentle readers who are historians of the English language, please advise. Anyway. The iPod is dead as a doornail, as dead as an electronic device that has been dropped in a toilet. That means I have a general idea of what I’m getting for my birthday. I just have to decide if I want to replace the toilet-murdered iPod with a new iPod nano or an iPod touch or a refurbished iPod nano that is just like my old one.

I was happy with my old iPod, before it stopped working. I’m not a big fan of the new iPod nano. It looks too small. And the smallness maybe wouldn’t be a problem except for the touch screen. Smallness + touch screen does not seem like a good combo to me. And it’s not like I have freakishly meaty fingers or something–yeah, I know, as soon as I say that, you’re thinking “she’s got freakishly meaty fingers”–but I don’t! I just don’t have a delicate touch. Anything that requires precision, I’m not very good with that. So there’s the iPod touch–which looks too big. It also seems like way more technology than I really need. I’m not going to start playing Angry Birds any time soon. On the other hand, if it has all these awesome capabilities, it will be one more tool to distract my bored and/or fussy children when I’m out and about. On the other hand, do I really want my children to become even more reliant on electronic distraction than they already are? On the other hand, is it possible for them to become more reliant on electronic distraction? Has that ship not already sailed? On the other hand, won’t they always be “borrowing” my iPod touch so that I’ll never be able to use it myself? On the other hand, wouldn’t it be cool?

On the other hand, if I got an iPod touch, I would want to have the 32GB and not the 8GB. What good is 8GB? Please. But a 32GB iPod touch is twice as much as a new 16GB iPod nano and almost $200 more than a refurbished 16GB iPod nano 4g, which I’ve already said I was perfectly content with. Is it lame to get the exact same thing? Answer: kind of. I mean, my children will be incredibly disappointed in me. On the other hand, when have they not been disappointed in me? Also, whose birthday is it anyway?

On the other hand, the iPod touch looks very cool. On the other hand, it’s basically an iPhone without the phone. Is it lame to get an iPhone without a phone? I’m not going to get an iPhone. That’s out of the question. I’m just thinking out loud.

And now the time for thinking is over, as I must go to clogging class. Continue my thinking for me in the comments section.