It’s really freaking hot over here. I can’t sleep very well at night because it’s so hot. And I definitely don’t want to cook anything when it’s hot. The problem is–well, the problems are 1) I still need sleep, and 2) the kids still expect to eat dinner. I think they’re eating mostly out of habit and because they’re too hot to do anything else. Except play video games, of course. Of course!

The other day  I was in the grocery store and they were playing this cover of Howard Jones’s “No One Is To Blame,” which is not a song I’m particularly fond of in the first place, but this version was so bad. Just…so bad. It made me want to stab myself in the ear. My good ear. I tried looking it up on the YouTube so I could show you what I mean, but it wasn’t there. How is this even possible? EVERYTHING is on the YouTube. Except this song. Maybe it is so bad that Google killed it. Maybe Google isn’t that evil after all (although I have some things to say about their priorities).

It seems like it’s so hot that people don’t even want to play on the internet anymore.

We don’t have central air at our house. We’ve thought in the past about getting it–it would certainly increase the value of our home, but then again, we just refinanced comfortably without it, so whatever–but you have to think about these things rationally, i.e. not in the middle of a rare heat wave. This summer has actually been remarkably cool up until now. It just doesn’t get that hot in Portland…except for now, of course. Right now it’s really hot. By Portland standards. By Phoenix standards, it’s probably February. But there’s a reason we don’t live in Phoenix.

Meanwhile, I try to stand in front of our wall unit in the kitchen as often as possible. Unfortunately, there’s nothing to do in that particular spot but stand there, and once you’re there and cool, you finally feel like doing something besides just standing there. Talk about ironic! Wah wah wah.

So I understand there were new rumors this morning about Pres. Obama dropping Joe Biden from the ticket and replacing him with Hillary Clinton. I guess it’s too hot to start new rumors about stuff that people haven’t been talking about for the last two years. I think the big smoking gun was that the Pres. was scheduled to meet with both of them today. Yeah. Because Joe Biden is vice-president, and Hillary Clinton is secretary of state–there isn’t really a good reason the president should need to meet with both of them on the same day. Hmmm.

It’s not going to happen, of course–even though John McCain and Sarah Palin agree that it would be a wise move on Pres. Obama’s part, and we know what geniuses those two are at winning elections. Actually, it may well be a good campaign strategy for the president, for all I know–but it certainly wouldn’t be a good move for Hillary Clinton. Say what you will about Secretary Clinton, but she’s no dummy. Assuming she has any presidential aspirations for the future–and I’m not saying she does, but if she did–she’s not going to want to hitch her wagon to Pres. Obama’s horse for the next four years. And assuming she has no presidential aspirations for the future, why would she ever want to be vice-president? For her health? (It would be a much less stressful job than her current one.) Unless she’s some kind of evil genius who’s somehow gotten her hands on indisputable evidence of malfeasance that could force the president’s resignation shortly after his second inauguration, thus making her president…but that really does seem unlikely. Even more unlikely than the president wanting to put her on the ticket on the first place.

Let’s think about why the president might have chosen Joe Biden as his running mate in the first place. 1) He wanted someone who was experienced but who wouldn’t upstage him. It couldn’t be someone both experienced and smart because then people might wonder, “Dude, why are we nominating an inexperienced smart guy instead of an experienced smart guy?” And it couldn’t be anyone good-looking, for obvious reasons. 2) Life insurance. Barack Obama may have a lot of enemies, but apparently none of them are that stupid either.

I pick on Joe Biden a lot. It’s not very nice of me. In fairness, he is really kind of a buffoon. And by “kind of” I mean…well, I think you know what I mean. I don’t have a personal dislike of Joe Biden, though. He just seems so harmless, sitting there in his vice-president’s chair. (I’m talking metaphorically–unless there really is a special chair for vice-presidents to sit in. I think I would insist on a comfy one, personally, seeing how you’re not going to be doing much else but sitting on your can for 4-8 years.)

Well, I’m going to start folding laundry and hope the effort doesn’t overheat me.