I had kind of a hard morning. Not because anything in my life is so very hard but because I am basically incompetent. This morning my husband asked me to go to the music store and buy a trombone snake for Mister Bubby. I thought, okay, that will be easy enough. I had a lunch date at 11:30, and the music store was not at all anywhere near anywhere else I had to go today, but I had a couple hours to play with. I was so cocky with my couple hours that I waited an unconscionably long time to take a shower, so it was about 10:45 before I got out the door. In theory, though, still plenty of time to go to the music store and get back in time to meet my acquaintance for lunch.
The key words being “in theory,” because in the middle of all this I somehow forgot the most important variable in this equation, i.e. me. I had only been to the music store once before, and as I was saying to myself this morning, “It’s a good thing I’ve been to this place before because if SD had just told me where it was without me actually having been there before, I would not know that it is actually tucked away in an obscure part of this shopping center, its precise location not unlike Platform 9 1/2 at King’s Cross in the Harry Potter books–although it isn’t exactly invisible, it can seem that way, unless you know where to look.” In my memory, it was somewhere on the other side of the Big Lots, so I went to the shopping center with the Big Lots, and I went to the other side of Big Lots, but I couldn’t see the door to the hallway that would lead me to the music store. Remembering that it helps to know where to look but not actually remembering where exactly to look, I was unable to find what I was looking for.
At that moment I was about to give in to despair, my cell phone rang. It was my husband. How lucky was that? He would be very disappointed that I couldn’t find the music store despite having been there before, and I would have to sacrifice 100 percent of my pride to admit it, but at least with his help I had some hope of finding it in time to go inside and buy a trombone snake and make it to my lunch appointment on time. Unfortunately, the act of answering the phone exhausted what little battery life was left inside it, and that avenue was shut off for the foreseeable future. I thought to myself, “Well, that’s that. I can’t see it here. I don’t even know if it really is here, or if this is just me misremembering where it is, so is there any point in continuing?”
Well, SD had reminded me this morning that the music store was down by the game store where MB plays his Magic tournaments. The game store is close to the Big Lots but not in the same shopping center. Did SD ever say the words “Big Lots” to me, or was that just my brain making things up because I’m almost 42 and going senile? How would I know? So I went to the shopping center where the game store is to see if I could find the magical doorway I was looking for. I didn’t see it there either. I decided that rather than waste time looking for something I was obviously incapable of seeing, despite the fact that it was there, I decided it would be a better use of my time to go buy myself a car charger for my phone before going to lunch. At that point I saw my lack of car charger as the source of all my problems, or rather, a cause of my problems that I could actually do something about. (My brain, of course, being a lost cause.)
So I went to a Radio Shack to buy a car charger. Why Radio Shack? Because it was on the way and I was in a hurry and knew I could walk right inside, ask for a car charger, and someone would know exactly where one was and I could be out of there in two minutes instead of the fifteen it would take me at Target (if I was lucky). I knew my husband wouldn’t approve because car chargers cost more at Radio Shack, and he had already told me, many times (every time I said, “I really need to get a car charger for my phone”), that he thought we already had a car charger that would work with my phone. Well, whatever. I was not in a good mood. I had hit every. single. red light on the major thoroughfare I had to travel between the elusive music store and the place I was supposed to have lunch, and I had probably undone six months’ worth of orthodontic work with all the teeth-grinding I had done in the last half-hour, and it was already 11:30, so I was really perturbed when traffic just came to a halt for no discernible reason. Seriously–major thoroughfare, in between lights–what the hell was the problem this time? And then I saw what it was.
Six fat geese crossing the road. And guess what?
They were just so freaking cute.